Tag: Double Mastectomy

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART II ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in August

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART II ~

After I talked to Rob I then proceeded to Eric’s office where I sat down in one of the
chairs in front of his desk and just looked at him. He looked at me and asked me what was wrong
and I then proceeded to tell him about my call just now from Dr. Boardman. Eric is a cancer
survivor as well, a melanoma cancer survivor so he understood exactly what I was feeling and
going through. He went on to say that I will beat this without hesitation. I remember him saying
that the treatment today is not like what they had 20 years ago and he knew I would be ok. I
remember him saying this, but at the same time I was still in shock.  He is a great friend and boss.

Later that evening and after Rob and I had discussed this in length, I decided it was time
to tell my family. I remember that I waited until I had my shower and was cleaned up, grabbed my
cell phone as I knew this was going to be a long night and proceeded to call each member of my
family – starting with my mom, my dad, my brother Randy and then my brother Jay. I remember
telling Randy that I wanted to be the one to tell my nieces in person and I would do so soon. I could not be the one to tell my nephews in person like I wanted to because they lived in Connecticut at the time. The calls were trying at first, but through each one I was very optimistic and had my faith that everything would be alright and advised my family of this each time I talked to them. That following weekend I went over to Randy’s across town where I pulled the girls aside by myself to have a talk. The girls and I always talk like this about many things so this was not going to be any different, just about a different topic. I love those girls like they were my own, so to see their eyes and feel their heart when I told them was heart wrenching, but I was very positive about it and told them that it would all be ok. I just knew it would be. I reminded them that our family were fighters and that is exactly what I intend to do.

On a warm sunny day in August, Rob & I went to the office of Dr. Boardman to discuss his findings. As we were waiting in the waiting room, I could see these books around a table on Breast Cancer and thinking to myself “really, am I really going to have to be picking up one of those books to see where my life is about to be headed?” When just at that moment we were called back to meet with Dr. Boardman. As we went into one of the examination rooms, Rob sat in the corner with a note pad and pen and I sat up on the table. He was going to be the one to take notes, ask questions and remember what the doctor said because I knew I was not going to be in any shape to remember exactly what he was saying. When Dr. Boardman came into the room and we began discussing my having Invasive Ductal Carcinoma “Cancer” and it is triple negative, I could not help but start crying and thinking “is this real?” as well as “is this really happening to me?” I felt just fine. I did not feel sick – I felt normal, healthy. I never once said “why me” just “is this real”. Dr. Boardman continued to give me my options and as I listened intensely at the words that were coming out of his mouth, my first thought was take them both, take them both because I do not want them. I advised Dr. Boardman that I wanted a Double Mastectomy and that was that. I only wanted to go through this one time. My reasons have specifically been that I only wanted to go through this pain one time and one time only, I did not need breasts (they only get in the way anyway) and if I had Cancer in one breast whose to say I won’t get it in the other down the road. The sooner the better I say. By the end of our appointment Dr. Boardman had scheduled my surgery for October 2nd at 1:30 and recommended an Oncologist that he thought we should meet right away and whom he thought would fight this cancer as aggressively as he was and that was going to be the only way to fight this, aggressively.

To Be Continued…

Nutrition Facts

Always with Light, Love, Strength, Enlightenment and Guidance!

Take Care ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in July

They say, it’s all in how you take care of them.  Haha – implants that is.  That and how they are made.  You know, when you are going through the process of Breast Cancer and decide on reconstructive surgery after having a double mastectomy, that is usually the last thing on your mind – how you take care of them.  They say that you used to have to get them replaced every ten (10) years.  But now, depending on how they are and you are taken care of, they could last longer than that.  Especially the way they are made these days.  These days they are more dependable and more durable.  Yes, I did say more durable.  8)

I say all this because a number of women I know have gone through this process and for me it was a no brainer.  Double Mastectomy = check; reconstruction = check; process/pain only once = check.  It was a quick and easy decision for me.  Now, after being just over five (5) years out, I find myself still getting used to them.  The thoughts of that time, the images, the process you went thru never goes away.  You just learn how to deal with it as time passes.  You continue to learn how to deal with and live with implants that still feel strange at times.  They certainly are different than the real things, but given the choice between fighting Cancer and leaving your original breasts that you had Cancer in or fighting Cancer and getting rid of the original breasts all together only to get new ones (or not) – well there is no real choice is there… it only made sense to me.  Take these things, I don’t want them or need them.

To all the women out there who have had, are going through now, or are just being diagnosed I say to you to stay strong!  I say stay positive, stay away from negative people, believe and continue to have faith, and most of all, do what is best for you!  For you I said, not your spouse, not your family, but you.  What is it you want!  They are not carrying around those breasts and dealing with this, you are.  So, talk it through with your significant other (should you choose) and know, just know, that you are not alone.  You are never alone because at the end of the day, there are more women out there that have been through and/or are going through exactly what you are.  Of course, everyone’s case is different, but the same nonetheless.

They are just breasts – get rid of them (if that is your decision).

It’s funny to me that when I think back I used to always say “I would never get implants.”  And, I never would – on purpose!  My breasts were taken away to serve a higher purpose and to show myself and others that there is more to life than physical appearance and meaningless things.

So, my dear survivors and friends – do take care – take care of yourself and enjoy this life you have.  Enjoy your Friday, your weekend, your family, but most of all – enjoy spending time with you!  This is your life, your way, your future!  So, live ~ love ~ laugh!  And dance like no one is watching!

Please feel free to share my blog if you find it could help or inspire others.

Cheers and thank you for taking the time out of your day to read about taking care!

CHOOSE LIFE ~ CHOOSE TO SURVIVE

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in June

Being a woman can be difficult and trying at times, especially when you are told you have Breast Cancer (hereinafter referred to as “B.C.”).    So many thoughts run through your mind at one time.  I have a very special lady who is very close to me who has been going through what I went through.  Though we all have different experiences, in the end, it’s the same.  When I was told I have B.C. and then given my options of what to do, I only had one answer, a double mastectomy.  There was no other choice in the matter for me.  And like me, this special lady made the same choice.  She just had her surgery a couple weeks ago and with her going through this, I can still remember mine like it was yesterday.

It’s a difficult but brave decision to make.  For me, I felt that if I have cancer in one then it is very likely I will get in the other down the road so to prevent this from happening again, I would rather go thru the pain this one time and not have to again later.  So, a double mastectomy it is – I don’t need these breasts anyway, they are just in the way! I say all this to tell you this, we all have our obstacles in life, but it is how you choose handle them, to see them, and/or let them handle or reflect upon you and your inner and outer being.

I understand it can be very trying at times to see the silver lining and be positive about life and want to give up, but in the end, why be negative and down when you can enjoy the sound of the birds, the sound of the ocean, the laughter of children/family, or the feel of the sun and breeze upon your face.  Fight dammit!  Fight and keep fighting!  I know it can be hard, but that is what we as survivors are here for, we are here for each other and for others in order to teach them and remind them that life is a gift.  So, have that faith and have that love and zest for life, LIVE.  Why you ask?   Why not!  Why give up and give in to Cancer and let Cancer win.  You fight, you enjoy your life and show yourself and Cancer that you will not go quietly into the night!  You will not vanish without a fight!  You will survive!  Today and every day you celebrate yourself, your life, your choice!

Choose Life Choose to Survive