Category: September

~ MAGIK ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

Why not ~ I do…

Magik

~ WHY YES WE DO ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

~ WHY YES WE DO ~

Believe my Angels!   Always have Faith, keep the Positivity, keep the Strength and always keep your Light, Love and Warrior Within!

Angels Looking Over You!
Angels Looking Over You!

~ ANGEL SIGNS ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

~ ANGEL SIGNS ~                                                                                                            via Mary Jac

When you see the signs, you just know…

White feathers Perhaps one of the most well-known signs you’ve been visited by an Angel, these magical blessings are something many of us keep an eye out for and treasure once we discover.
Often referred to as ‘calling cards,’ they’re left as welcome reminders that Angels are there for us if we need them and continually watching over us each day.
Pennies Celestial beings will often leave coins for those they are watching over – in fact, it’s thought that’s where the expression ‘pennies from heaven’ originally came from!
Left to console and reassure those who find them – generally when they’re feeling a little blue or under the weather – they’re said to be tossed by angels to make smiles out of frowns.
Butterflies The beautiful insects are frequently sent to us by our lost loved ones, either to remind us they’re always watching over us and nearby, or just to let us know they’re OK.
Robins Also signifying a visit from a deceased family member of friends, these are always a welcome sight and will often visit the same gardens year after year, reassuring those who see them that their passed loved ones are still near.
Rainbows If you’re thinking about Angels and a rainbow suddenly catches your attention, it’s likely to be one of these celestial beings confirming their presence to you – even more spectacular when there’s been no rain!
Scents Sometimes those we’ve lost will remind us of their presence by surrounding us with a particular fragrance or smell that makes us think of them, so take note of any familiar aromas that waft your way – you never know, they might just be a sign from a deceased loved one! Angels also like to make their appearances known through the power of smell and will often leave floral trails in the areas they have visited.
Dreams Angels and deceased loved ones will also often come to us in while we sleep as this tends to be the time we’re most relaxed and receptive. Generally speaking, these will be more vivid than your regular ones and remain in your mind much fresher.
Sparkles of light Depending on their colour, these messages will usually be sent by the angel whose help you need most at the time – if you’ve been going through a hard time, for instance, and keep seeing green sparkles every where you go, it could be a sign from Archangel Raphael – the Angel synonymous with healing – letting you know he’s there to help you.
Touch This is likely to be very subtle and either feel like a soft brush on your arm or neck, or a tingling sensation across your back.
A Voice Seemingly coming out of nowhere, this is one of the most obvious signs an Angel’s come to visit you and will either literally tell you it’s there for you out loud, or reassure you – perhaps when you are feeling frightened or uncertain – through a little whisper that everything is going to be OK.
Music and television Hearing a song or lyric on the radio using words that help, reassure or confirm something for you is never a coincidence, but the work of angels attempting to clarify or ease a situation for you. Similarly, if you happen to be flicking through channels and come across a show or documentary that relates to something that’s been troubling you at the time, don’t ignore it; it could be a message from the celestial realm giving you your answer!
Books and magazines The next time a meaningful piece of writing grabs your attention, whether it’s a book suddenly falling from a shelf as you walk by, or words in a magazine that instantly catch your eye, take a moment to read what they say; you’ll be amazed at how often they’ll relate in some way to your current situation. Every time they do, you can be sure it’s a message from an Angel.
Telephone calls If you suddenly receive a call from someone you really need support from at the exact moment you most need them, you can be sure an Angel’s intervened somewhere along the way, either making them think of you at just the right time or giving them the clarity and wisdom to offer you the advice you need.
Buildings and advertising slogans This could be something simple as asking Archangel Michael for help and then noticing a building named St Michael’s shortly after – a sure sign he has heard your call and is there if you need him. However, angels will also send their messages to you in a number of different ways so make sure you look out for any recurring slogans on billboards, shop names or roads that seem to strike a chord with you.
Angel shapes Never underestimate how clever angels can be; they are all around us and can physically appear – in the form of an outline or shape – in almost anything, from the clouds in the sky to the bubbles in your bath!

Whether it’s to remind us of their presence, help us through a difficult time, or to let us know they are with us, Angels will always find a way of alerting us to the fact that they love us, they want to help us – they are there …

~ HEAVENLY ANGELS ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

~ HEAVENLY ANGELS ~

I do believe in Angels and Heaven above, I do believe our loved ones have been carried to Heaven above on the wings of Angels and I do believe we will, in fact, see them again one day. That is just my belief and my inner unexplained knowledge of what I believe to be true.  With that said,  I have had my share of loss lately and cannot find a way to get back into the swing of things.  Part of me just does not want to, not yet.  I would rather stay at home where Caesar is, where his spirit still resides, where I can still feel him and see him and not be anywhere else.  This too shall pass – this I know, but right now it’s all I can think about.  Baby Jerry has been so sweet, so loving and I know he still looks for him.  One day we will find him a play mate as he does need one to keep him active and playful.  Just not right now – we’re not ready just yet.

So, I keep getting asked about my weekend and days.  How are you they ask and I almost can’t stand the question because I don’t feel like answering.  I don’t want to talk about it, don’t want to think about it. But, I try to and find a way thru it.  As you can see, it takes me a while to get over loss, especially when they are my babies.

I say all this to say to you that though I know life happens, we are always going to lose our loved ones and it will always be difficult, we will always be tried in some way shape or form in order to shape the person we are and/or are becoming, and with all of these things happening around us, I know we have Angels with us looking after us and guiding us.  I do believe this and have prayed and talked to them more lately than I think I have in a long time.  I myself pray for guidance and strength in all aspects of my life and for others.  It’s what I do!

In closing, thank you for listening and being a part of my life through blogging.  You are all greatly appreciated and always wished Love, Light, Strength, Guidance, and always keep your Warrior Within.  Life itself is a gift, having our loved ones (furry or otherwise) in our lives is a gift and one I would not change, no matter how heartbroken I become.

Rest in Peace Tucker, Cleopatra & Caesar!  Mommy & Daddy Love You All and Miss You All Everyday!

HEAVENLY ANGELS
HEAVENLY ANGELS

~ THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART X

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

~ THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART X

August 25, 2015 was six years since my diagnosis of Breast Cancer and so much has changed.  I cannot believe it’s been that long ago as it seems like just last year.  An update:

I have gotten used to my new look, though at times they are uncomfortable and I must admit that there are times when I look in the mirror only to see someone different and not the me I remember growing up.  Cancer has taken a lot from me, but given me insight on life and people;
I am now able to get checkups once a year and not every three months or every six months.  Myself and my doctors here in California keep and eye on my numbers very closely.  I stated in my posts that I was unsure of finding a doctor that I can really trust and feel comfortable without here, but I have (after a long and difficult search and having many trial and error with other doctors) found one that is nice and really seems to care about me and make sure I am well.  And, to top it off, he has my older brother’s birthday, so it must be a sign that he’s ok;

My cousin Bobby has since passed away – God Rest His Soul!  He was a fighter to the end and gave me such encouragement.  I sure miss him and our talks, but I know he is here with me and guides me to enjoy this life to the best of my ability, for him as well as for myself;

Rob is always with me, he takes great care of me (we take care of each other), and still loves me for who I am.  It’s hard to believe we’ve been thru so much already and he hasn’t run for the hills.  I believe our experience with my diagnosis changed him as well as all those around us.  I believe it opens their eyes (if they haven’t turned and run from you because you care sick – because they cannot handle it) to how precious life is and not complain about the small stuff, but just appreciate everything in life a bit more.

Breast Cancer ~ Once you have gone thru the surgeries and treatments, once your hair has grown back out and you can restart your life, it’s never really over.  Once you have gone thru all of that, no one tells you or talks to you about the mental aspects of having gone thru something like this.  You have to figure out how to handle seeing the new you, the new you after surgeries, after hair loss and regrowth, after changing your eating habits, and the new you with knowing that you might be Cancer free, but in the back of your head (most of the time) is that little voice saying that it feels like it’s never really gone.  You pray that it is, you try to take care of yourself in a better way, and you stay up to date with your doctors.  That is why it is vital to find a doctor and staff that care about their patients and not just another patient to see.  There is a difference.  The images stay with you forever, the feelings of that entire process stay with you, but at the end of the day you have relearned that life is a gift, being on this earth with family and friends is a gift, you are a gift.

Positivity is KEY in your life during this process and always after as well as managing your stress.  You have no patience for and care to be around any negativity whether it be from family, friends, or just hearing someone on the train complaining about life or the weather when you know that it is a gift to even be here standing and breathing for that matter.  You have to just walk away at that time and just breathe and pray for patience and guidance.

So, you live your life, you take chances in life, you learn new things, you travel, you enjoy your family and friends and be with them often, you live your life for yourself as well as for the loved ones who have passed and say a cheer to them daily when you have that glass of red wine.  You live life and enjoy because it can be gone in an instant without a sign or a clue that it’s coming.

This is what I have learned and the way I live my life.  So, here’s to you all and may you all be happy, healthy, and loved by many furry babies, family and friends.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my posts/blog.  It and you are greatly appreciated!

Always with Light, Love, Strength, and Enlightenment!  Cheers!

A couple photos I thought I’d share from a shoot in 2013 with our favorite photographer, Joshua Weinfeld.   Live Life Right…    8)

ROB_DAWN 2013   Me, Myself & I  Photos by Joshua Weinfeld Photography – 

http://www.joshuaweinfeld.com/

~ ANGELIC LOVE ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

~ ANGELIC LOVE ~

Angelic Love

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART VIIII

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART VIIII

3-19-10

Thinking about Bobby, Always. Second surgery day at 9:30 a.m. I have to be there at 7:30 a.m. Rob and I did not get out of there until 3:00 ish. My implant surgery today as well as the removal of my port.

** I have to say that the port they give you from the very beginning affects you in many ways.  First you can’t believe you have to have this port for medications on your chest.  It looks like a bump on your chest and you try to cover it up with clothing, but nothing really works because you always know it’s there.  It can be uncomfortable at times, but you eventually get used to it.  After a while, it becomes your best friend – so to speak – because all the medications get injected into your blood stream thru here and it makes life easier suing the port.  The port has become your saving grace and now by the time you are finished with your treatments and surgeries, it is now time for one last surgery and the port to be removed.  You have mixed feelings about this because you have been on medications for so long and this port, this thing/lump on your chest has been there for you and made the process of the medications easier.  You really don’t want to let it go, but in order to move on, you must.  It’s really a sad moment in time and a bit scary.

6­-10­

Third and last surgery today. I had to be there at 11:00 when the surgery was at 1:00. Rob & I did not get out of there until 7:00 p.m. I was not as nervous as the last two surgeries.

8-10

I have had many check ups with regard to my implants, but as of July I was pretty much done. Oh did I forget to mention that when you have a double mastectomy, you have just the implants under your skin.  No more areola or nipple. So, in order to make everything look as natural as possible, skin is taken from somewhere else on your body and attached here.  Another fun surgery, right? But, Dr. Bosshardt did a great job as usual.  I couldn’t ask for a better doctor.

9-2010

I started paddling with WOW, Warriors on Water Breast Cancer Survivor Dragon Boating Team. What an awesome experience with a great bunch of ladies. Our first competition is on 10­-16­-10. A lot of fun and a great learning experience. Love those ladies!!!

Warriors on Water Breast Cancer Survivor Dragon Boating Team – Our team is Warriors on Water and our mission is to create, inspire, and sustain a community of breast cancer survivors who share in the empowering, therapeutic, and symbolic sport of dragon boating.

9-­10 to 9-­12-­10

Attended camp this weekend at the Faces of Courage camp with the ladies of WOW, Warriors on Water. Had a great time, met a lot of great ladies and had a lot of great and new experiences such as body paint, drums, meditation, and just a relaxing time away from phones, computers and life in general.

Faces of Courage – We are a non-profit organization located in the Tampa Bay area that offers free camps and events for women,men and children with cancer and blood illnesses. Though we are located in Florida, some of our camps are attended by women, men and children from all over the country. We strive to provide a judgment-free, comfortable atmosphere where women, men and children can relax and just have fun.

10­-18

Well all has been going pretty well. I have been feeling good and getting used to my new breasts. I found that a month or two ago I was having pain in both my knees so I let Dr. Kunta know who sent me for a Bone Scan. Well the results were on 10-­5­-10 wherein Dr. K said that my knees were good (I could run a marathon), but what about the pain in my hip, my left hip. I said “what?” I am here for knee pain not hip pain. Nonetheless, the scan picked up something on my left hip so I was sent out for an MRI as soon as possible.

That was on 10-­5-­10 when the scheduler at Dr. Kunta’s office was given the task of scheduling me an MRI ASAP. Well it was 10­-15 and I had no word so I called them to say “where is my appt?” She was clueless so I had to remind her that Dr. Kunta wanted it ASAP and it was now 10-­15 and I had no word? Needless to say I got a call back from her within 20 minutes with an MRI appt scheduled for 10­-18 at 9:00 at Horizen Open MRI on West 50 in Ocoee. I went in today for my appt and was there for 3 1⁄2 hours and in so much pain from the position I was lying in. It was awful. I get my results on Wednesday, 10-­20.

** I have no patience for incompetent people who do not pay attention and take care of Cancer patients as they are supposed to!

11­-7­

A new chapter … posing nude while being body painted by artist Lisa Scholder at her home in Tampa, FL. Rob came with me, Peggy Sherry of Faces of Courage was there as well as photographer Jim Webb.  What great people!  Jim was interviewing me while videoing the process, he let Rob use him camera and take pictures for him of the process and it all felt natural.  Being nude in front of others after all I had been thru was actually liberating.  I didn’t really care! All for a good cause I say – and it was!

4-­17­-2011

Wow! I cannot believe it has been a year and a half since being told I have Cancer. I am doing well. I am still with the Cancer Survivor Dragon Boat Team, WOW – Warriors on Water. I have been for almost 10 months now. I am feeling better, getting used to my implants, trying to workout more and paddling. Other than the mental aspects that come later, all is well.

The mental aspects – yes – no one really talks to you about that or mentions it.  This is a very long process and something that affects you for a long time to come.  It never really goes away, Cancer is always in the back of your mind.

7-­14-­11

To say the least this is has been quite a few years for me. As of this month Rob accepted a position in California. So, without further adieu he is being transferred there with Universal Hollywood. This means ALL NEW DOCS for me. Oh lord!!

Our baby Labrador, Tucker, has recently passed (God Bless him and his big heart & soul)! We buried him at the top of the hill in the back yard of our home. He was supposed to come with us whenever we decided to move anywhere! He is always with us though – I can feel it. I sure miss my big boy!

8-11-11

Rob leaves this day for a cross country trip to California since he starts his job on the 18th. So, I am here alone with Cleo & Caesar and my family of course, but alone nonetheless.

10-1-­11

Yeah! We finally rented the house in Clermont so now I am free to go be with Rob. The new tenants move in on the 15th so I will pack up and move in with dad. God love him. We both need the company. Ha! Ha! He has two cats and so do we. This should be fun!

10­-8-­11

Traveling to Ybor City to attend the Ybor City Art Show to promote our Bodies of Courage Calendar for 2012 with Lisa Scholder and Peggy Sherry. You remember, the one I posed nude for.  Great Breast Cancer survivors in the calendar including myself. Lisa did a great job. What a great artist and a great experience for myself! I absolutely loved it and to see the calendar completed is awesome. So if anything is taken away from this experience it is this: Never say you can’t do something! Life is too short not to at least try something at least once. And then and only then can you say that you don’t like it. No excuses! Be daring, be fearful, be … who you were meant to be! That is the one thing Cancer has taught me.

10-­14

Beach weekend with one the best cousin a girl could ask for and another Cancer Survivor. Robert Ellrich, Jr (Bobby) who is a fighter beyond belief! He is so strong, so fearful, so brave! I love him so much! I might be strong and might have helped him along the way, but he has helped me more than he knows. I might help him to fight, but let me tell you ladies and gentlemen he helps me to fight and to carry on the fight! We fight together! We look at Cancer and laugh and say “Is this all you
got!” We have faith, we have life, we have love, we have each other!

10-­25

It has been 2 years since my visit with Dr. Lewis (my OB) wherein she wanted me to go ahead and get my mammogram and whom I will say with all my heart who saved my life! I go today for a check up as usual. This will be my last visit with her since I am moving to California. She is so nice, so caring, so sweet, such a great doctor who I know I can call a friend and call should I need anything.

Leaving my doctors is hard. They all saved me and give me strength. It hurts to leave! I must be honest, I worry about leaving. Will I find doctors I California with such a good bedside manner as I found here in Clermont, FL. I pray I do as I will not settle for less. My life is too valuable to me to put in the hands of someone without heart and a soul.

11­-1

Today I met with my favorite Oncologist, Dr. Kunta. What a great doctor! He has taken care of me, made me laugh and has been there through all my Chemotherapy sessions. I will miss him, Jade and Billisha. Jade is the receptionist whom I have come to depend on and love as she has always been there to help me in a moments notice. Help like that is hard to find much less help from a person with a big heart and a caring soul. And last, but not least, Billisha. Billisha and Laura (another nurse who is no longer there) helped to take care of me when I was in for my Chemo sessions. They always made sure I had my meds before I came in and then made sure I was comfortable once I got there. I know that is there job, but they always took it one or two steps more making it more than there job, they really care and you can’t put a price on that. They took great care of me and Rob because Rob as you know by now, went with me every time I went to a doctor appt or a chemo session – every single time.

My checkup and numbers came out well and Dr. Kunta was very happy with the way things looked. God bless him as I wish him and his staff well. Thank you for everything.

11­-13­

New adventures await! While I am a survivor in every way, shape and form, I look forward to the new adventures, challenges and anything else God and life has in store for me. I will not settle for less and will triumphant in spirit, heart and soul no matter what! I am a fighter, we are all fighters, we are all brothers and sisters in Cancer and through God our Father for with him and through him all things are possible. My faith, fight, family and good doctors brought me through this and I am here to tell you all that life is worth fighting for. Love is worth fighting for. Family is worth fighting for. You yourself are worth fighting for.

Thank you for reading my journal of my experience thru the Breast Cancer process.   I hope this brings light to help others understand how this affects an individual being diagnosed with Cancer and how if affects his or her spirit and his or her determination to fight such an awful disease .

Always with Light, Love, Strength, Enlightenment and Our Warrior Within ~

Cousins  Some of the cousins at Bobby’s Beach Weekend

FoC Camp FoC

Faces of Courage Camp ~ Debbie & I

WOW  Warriors on water Dragon Boat Team – Oct. 2010  Love my Team!

Ybor City Art Show Ybor City Art Show with Peggy of FoC & artist, Lisa

BOC CAlendar

Bodies of Courage Calendar – This is me ~ I made the cover!

Never give up ~ Never stop fighting!

Always with Light, Love, Strength, Enlightenment and Our Warrior Within ~

ALWAYS WITH LIGHT, LOVE, STRENGTH & ENLIGHTENMENT ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

image17

THE AUTHENTIC YOU ~ Jason Stephenson

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

THE AUTHENTIC YOU ~ Jason Stephenson

Myths, Mysteries and Legends ~ Goddesses

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

Myths, Mysteries and Legends ~ Goddesses                                              myangelcardreadings.com

A lot has been written about Goddesses, who originate from many different cultures. It is said that by
working with them we can enlighten and heal our own feminine wisdom, thus improving our spiritual intuition.
Here’s a few of the better known ones and their areas of “expertise” so that you can call on them should you wish to ….

Abundantia is the Roman Goddess of Abundance, Good Fortune, Opportunities and Success. Her name means “plenty” or “overflowing riches”.Her philosophy is that the Universal Source grants us access to the infinite and all encompassing supply of abundance. Therefore, by believing in this wisdom, you will also believe that your needs will always be met somehow, and they probably will!
Aphrodite is probably the most well known Greek Goddess, she is the Goddess of Love, Romance and Passion and assists women into feeling more comfortable with their bodies and sexuality. Aphrodite loves to help you celebrate your femininity.
Artemis the Greek Goddess the moon, the night and woodland, she is also known as the Goddess of protection, a particular guardian of women and children. She will illuminate those places that scare you and lend you her strength to bring you safely through. Call upon her for courage, or if you feel you need defending or shielding from harm.
Clementia is the roman Goddess of forgiveness and mercy. Call upon her when you need to find forgiveness in your heart.
Damara is a Celtic fertility Goddess. It is also believed that this Goddess rules over youth and innocence. She also assists with bringing peace and harmony to discordant families within quarrelsome households.
Eireen is a Greek Goddess who brings peace to all around her. She helps us replace worry with trust. She will also assist us with re-discovering and retaining our child-like faith and enthusiasm for life.
Green Tara a Tibetan Goddess, who rapidly understands situations and relationships. she empowers us to promote self healing, whilst helping us to overcome our fears and anxieties. She is also said to save us from hatred, envy and greed.
Hera The Greek Goddess Hera blesses and protects a woman’s marriage, bringing her fertility, protecting her children, and helping her find financial security. She also represents the fullness of life and reminds us that we can use our own instinctive judgement in the pursuit of any goal we choose.
Hestia is the Greek Goddess of the “Hearth and Home”. She is friendly and modest and prides herself on her home being a haven. Call upon her to help you to make your home a welcoming sanctuary for all who live there.
Isolt is a legendary Celtic Goddess, who you can call upon to help with relationship issues. She helps with healing from breakups, separations, and divorces. Ignites passion and re-kindling relationships. She also assists with attracting romantic love.
Ixchel a powerful healer, Ixchel is a Mayan Moon Goddess who is connected to the tides and rainfall. She is a mother Goddess who is believed to aid fertility and childbirth. Call upon her to connect you with your own healing abilities.
Kuan Yin is the Eastern Goddess of Mercy. She helps us to feel kindness and compassion towards ourselves and others. She also assists with opening our clairvoyant and psychic abilities to their full potential if called upon to do so.

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART VIII

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART VIII

12-14-09

This week was a regular work week and an office visit to Dr. Bosshardt for one more expansion.  I want no regrets and feel this is a good choice.  I am not that big, just slightly bigger than I was originally.  After today, I have a two-week waiting process before we start moving toward the 20% and then we wait two (2) months before surgery.  Surgery for the reconstruction process and the removal of the port that I have had for so long.

12-21

My LAST chemo.  YEAH!  A little nervous as there is a feeling of comfort knowing that you are getting medication to help fight the cancer, but on the other hand those same medications are brutally hard on your body.  With that, I am ready for the last one and know that the cancer has NOT spread and by staying on my same nutritional path and exercise I can keep the cancer away forever and be a survivor forever with no re-occurrence.  I worked a half day Monday, a full day on Tuesday, had my last shot on Wednesday (for my immune system) – – cold and hurt like heck!!, worked half a day Thursday (Christmas eve) and we were off Friday.  Yeah!  Nice week – finally.

I was ill Thursday and Friday and started to get better Saturday.  Rob & I went over to see the family for Christmas Saturday since I was unable to on Christmas day.  Happy Birthday to Heather Marie who is 19 this year on Christmas.  Unbelievable.

I have to say that although I do not regret my decision regarding the “one more expansion”, they are getting so uncomfortable that I cannot wait for surgery so as to actually have the implants in that are more comfortable and so I can sleep better.  These things are feeling hard and now I know what exactly the doctors meant when they said that there would be no feeling in your breast, no normal feeling, as that is exactly what I am experiencing and am uncertain on how I feel about that.  Having a double mastectomy takes all feeling away.  Not that I really had a choice in the matter.

12-28

I have a short week this week what with New Years and all.  I am off Thursday (personal day) and Friday is New Years day, 2010.  Rob and I are off to St. Augustine, FL for the weekend of New Years 2010 and look forward to a little vacation.  It has been a long last six (6) months and I need a little away time.  St. Augustine is always a great place to go for a getaway.

12-30-09 to 12-31-09

New Years Eve and Anniversary on 1-1:  Rob & I traveled to St. Augustine, FL where we go every year and stay at the Carriage Way Bed & Breakfast.  John, Larry & Bill are so great and our stay is always the best.  We got there on the 31st and spent New Years Eve watching the ball drop with John.  The rest of the weekend was nice as Rob & I ate at some very nice restaurants (The Reef, The Bubble Room, The Maya Restaurant, and The Florida Cracker) and finding out what I could eat became a little easier.

1-1-10

Our anniversary, three (3) years.  Rob & I spent the day touring around St. Augustine and had dinner at “The Reef”.  A nice restaurant on the water there with a nice view.  A lot has happened in our three years married – and he’s still hanging around.  Most would have already left me and probably couldn’t handle it.  I say this from experience losing friends and family while I am ill.

1-11

Today I am set to get my first set of scans after the chemo treatment.  My first scan, the PET scan is at 7:00 a.m. and the CT is scheduled for 9:00 a.m.  Rob is going with me to get them done and we wait for a week to get the results on the 18th at 3:00 p.m. with Dr. Kunta.

All went well and after Rob & I went to breakfast at Perkins.  Now, the fun is over and back to work.

Today I was surprised by an early 40th birthday party at the restaurant “Dutch” by Rob.  He had asked me if I wanted to go with him to Home Depot to refill the grill tank and then to lunch.  So sure, I was up to it.  We decided on lunch at Dutch, me not knowing that there was a party in the back.

When I walked in, Dutch (the owner) took us to the back where there was better seating – through the kitchen I might add – and when I walked through everyone yelled “surprise.”  I started to cry because it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me.  There were many people who actually wanted to be there to show me that they loved me and are happy that I am here, 40, and we all know I will be Cancer free.  For a small list of who was there: Bob and Annaliese, mom and dad, Randy & Cheryl, Heather and Brittany, Trina, David and Brittany, Theresa, Uncle Frank and Aunt Mary, Uncle Jack and Aunt Jill, Heath, Karlos, Matt, Sandy and Matt’s mom, Lynn (from work), Cindy & Kathy (from work), Barry & Kristi, Yvette and her two children, and Lori and Megan.  What a great surprise.

After my last 20% expansion this morning with Dr. Bosshardt, I had a 3:00 appt with Dr. Kunta for my results of my scans.  Dr. Kunta advised that my scans were perfect, clean and clear and told me he would continue to treat me to keep the Cancer away.  I got a name and number of a Dermatologist, Heather Brock, so I could have them check my skin so I can stay Cancer free.

1-19-10

40th Birthday ~ Hmm… I MADE IT!!  Rob was sick the past two days or so, but made me a nice  dinner here at home.

1-24-10

Now that I am Cancer free, I am going to need to stay on top of it by keeping up with my nutritional habits as well as my continued exercising.  No going back to the ways of before.  Something like this changes you and makes you realize what is really important in life and what you should do in order to stay here longer to see your nieces and nephews grow up and graduate and grow old with your brothers whom you would miss so very much.  I always knew prior to this what things were important and not so much as well as worth fighting for, but Cancer puts it greater perspective and you literally find yourself not in the mood for any negativity from anyone.

So – – I wait for my hair to start growing back and sit for two (2) months while I await my appt on March 4th with Dr. Bosshardt to schedule my surgery for my implants.  Thank goodness for insurance!  If my insurance did not pay for reconstructive surgery, I would have never gotten it. I was lucky enough to have that choice.  They do not mean that much to me nor would I miss them. Besides, Rob already said he did not marry me for my breasts or looks, but for my heart and what’s inside.  So with that, I could not ask for anything more.

2-10

The weeks have passed with no new events until the first week here in February.  My hair started to show some growth.  Although, my eyebrows and eye lashes continue to fall out.  Rob says that my new lashes and brows are pushing out the old ones.  Hmm…, maybe so.  I any case, just this past week, the week of the 15th, my expander on the left side has been causing me pain.  It has somehow come to a point inside on the left side under or close to my arm and managed to make a bruise and pinch a nerve at the same time.  The pain is sharp although not all the time.  It is only once maybe twice a day with little jolts here and there throughout.  Goodness, just when I think I can reach for that glass or wash my head in the shower the jolts or pain come.

*** On A Side Note**

Wigs, wigs and more wigs ~ Since I have no hair, I have been experimenting with wigs here and there.  Nothing too extreme, yet.  They seem to fit well and don’t look too bad.  I’ve always had really curly hair and could not find a good curly wig, so I went for straight.  I don’t wear them all the time.  Most times I prefer a little bandanna.  In the evenings, my head gets so cold that I have a little red and white stripped hat I wear to bed to keep my hear warm.  Thank goodness for this.

2-23-10

I went to see Dr. Bosshardt today where he took some fluid out of my expanders thinking that might help, but it did not. I told him it would not matter because the expander came to a point inside and the size would not matter. Oh well. I only have to live with it until March 19, that is when my surgery is scheduled. Yeah!! I hope everything looks better than I expect and goes well.

Later this night, Rob & I were given an invite to go see the true story, movie, called “Letters to God”. It was a very good story about a little boy with brain cancer who writes letters to god and prays about many different things and people. It was filmed here in Clermont/Winter Garden. It was very sad, but a good story for all to learn from.

2-­24 to 3-­12

I seem to be feeling just fine other than the pain I keep having in my left expander. It has come to a point underneath my skin and is either pinching my skin or a nerve underneath. In any case, it is quite a jolt of pain when it happens and I never know when it will. I cannot wait for surgery.

3-­13

A beautiful day for a Winter park 10k run. My first 10k, Yeah ­ ­ I finished in 1 hour and 28 minutes. Not so bad. Matt, Sandy and I walked/jogged it and had a good time. Rob’s knee was still hurting him from his 300 mile ride a few weeks back so he did not do it.

3-­18

We found out today that my cousin, Bobby, has Colon Cancer.  The family is not telling him *just yet as they need him to recover from his operation on his intestine/appendix he just had yesterday, March 17. I pray God gives him the strength and the immune system to fight this. He’s been through so much and is such a fighter. He is my light and my strength!!

Anniversary    At Bike Race

ENLIGHTENMENT ~ SERENITY ~ LIGHT ~ LOVE

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

ENLIGHTENMENT ~ SERENITY ~ LIGHT ~ LOVEWow!

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART VII

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in Baptism, Family, Loss, Real Life Christian Church, September

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART VII

11-22-09

Baptized at Real Life – Clermont church today! YEAH! Rob went with me. It was a great moment as It felt right and complete. After everything in my life this was something that completed my strength to fight this awful disease.  Below are pictures of the event Rob took.  Though they are a bit blurry (God bless him), you can still make out such an important time in my journey.

11­-26

Thanksgiving at Randy’s. It was a nice afternoon as I have not spent any real-time with the family since all of this started. Dinner was great as always. Cheryl cooked and made sweet potatoes for Rob and I since we cannot eat regular potatoes at this time. Watching our nutritional intake you know. We left just before everyone was having dessert as I did not want to make it any harder on myself than it needed to be. I don’t eat deserts either.  Upon leaving, I said by to Randy (who was watching football and napping) and told him that I meant to tell him that I was thankful for him as my brother and being in my life. I am very thankful for my family, my whole family, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, brothers, in-­laws, sister in-­laws, brother in-laws, and everyone else I might be forgetting. Everyone has been such a big support that it has been amazing. Going through something like this makes one realize what is really important, life. Life is important and worth fighting for so that one can still be here to be around and show your family as well as tell your family how much they mean to you. I love my family so much that I cannot express it so that they each can truly understand. Their individual love, support, and strength has been just one of the things that have been getting me through this.

11-­27

Rob and I went to Ocala today to visit family. We stopped by to see Uncle Jack and Aunt Jill first where Brock was there and then Heath stopped by. After a little while, we went over to see Uncle Frank and Aunt Mary where we found out that Teresa was there with her boys, Brent and Clint (?) and Trina was there with David and their daughter Brittany. It was so great to see everyone. I cannot remember the last time I saw Teresa who looks amazing. After a while and a visit to Uncle Jacks barn and his showing us how to rope a calf, we went to visit Heath at his home. We made all the rounds and then went to dinner at Harry’s in downtown Ocala where they had a big Christmas tree up and decorated for the season. It was a nice time and great to be around family.

After dinner around 7:00 p.m., Rob and I had to get back home. Anymore I find it hard to leave when visiting family. This time it was hard to leave and found myself and Trina hugging and crying at the same time. I do not think we could hold each other tight enough. The same for Uncle Jack and Aunt Jill as well as Uncle Frank and Aunt Mary. I really hated to leave and say goodbye, but made it clear I would call to let them know how I was doing with my third session and for myself I did not want to wait so long to be back.

11­-28

A nice cold Saturday morning where Rob got up and went for a mountain bike ride with Karlos. I stayed home and did the usual household festivities and eventually started putting up the Christmas tree. Later that night, Rob and I went to see ICE at the Gaylord Palms and then to dinner at Villa de Flora with Johnathan and Lacey. We had a great time with good friends.

11-­30

Third session of chemo, ugh… but yeah! I was a little nervous but my numbers came back great Laura said. It must be the diet or my new nutritional habits Rob has me on. Either way he is doing great looking after me. I went in at one and did not get out until 5:10 p.m. Later on I was so hungry for dinner, but that was not such a good idea. I did not feel well the rest of the night. Went to bed early.

12-1

Yeah ­ ­ December. At work and did not think I would make it through the day. On my nausea medications, but still feeling yucky. I hung in there though. Yeah me…

12­-3 to 12-4

Stayed home from work Thursday and Friday as these are my days of not feeling well. This was the third session and though I was feeling yucky, I was better than before. 8 ) I hope the fourth is better as well (it’s around Christmas time). I hope to make it to work Thursday the 24th as it is a half day and Eric wants to take us out for lunch for Christmas. I hope I am well enough, I pray I am.

12-7 to 12-13

The past week was just fine – work as usual and am feeling well. Yesterday, however, December 12th, my baby Boxer, Zak (who is 10 years old), passed away.  My ex called (we stayed in touch and I would see them every weekend – leaving Magnum and Zak was the hardest thing in the world) to tell me and said he passed in his sleep.  He laid down next to the bathtub (one of his favorite places to sleep) and never woke up. The saddest thing ever! I love him so much. He was the best Boxer ever (next to Magnum). He waited for me to get there before he did anything so I could say goodbye.  It was sad to see him like that and have to bury him. I kept expecting him to jump up with that little wiggle butt of his. When he got excited he would wiggle his whole body into a “U” shape and just wiggle and wiggle.  That is the one thing that stinks about having pets as they do not live long enough, but they are worth having. God rest his little soul. I will miss him and love him forever.

I’m trying to get better and I lose a best friend in the process!  My heart is broken!

Baptism #2  Baptism #3

Zak & Magnum  Zak on top & Magnum on bottom of photo

HAPPY LABOR DAY ANGELS!!

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September
SIMPLY BEAUFITUL ANGEL in WATER
SIMPLY BEAUFITUL ANGEL in WATER

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART VI

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART VI

10-­23-09

I went back to work for the first full day of work and felt good.

10­-25

Rob (ran) and I (walked) the Susan G. Komen 5k Race for the Cure at UCF. The race started at 7:45 a.m. Rob & I rode there with our doctor, Dr. Jason Boardman (surgeon), his staff and other cancer patients on a Coach Bus #5501. We had a really good time with a ceremony afterwards.

10-­26

Back to work this week.  Can’t wait to see the gang!

10­-28­

Back to see Dr. Bosshardt today. Second expansion went very well. I felt the saline expand the expanders this time. Have to wait for the next until 11/12 as Dr. Bosshardt is on vacation.

10­-29

The time went by just fine. Going back and forth to work, doing things around the house, etc. Everything was fine except for the fact that the week of the 29th my scalp started to ache and my hair started to fall out, a lot. So, as I have stated to others before, I took matters into my own hands.

10-30

As I was getting ready for work and was doing my hair, I noticed more of my was falling out. So, I prayed that it would just last until that night when I could get home and Rob could cut it off for me. The time has come!  When I got home from work, Rob & I went to dinner (Crispers) and afterward we came home where he brought out the new clippers we bought and began to cut my hair. He first used a #4 all over my head except for right down the middle where we tried to give me a Mohawk, but my hair was so thick and curly that it wanted to fall over. LOL! We took a picture anyway. After that, Rob began to continue with my hair cut by using a #1 on my head, which made my hair even shorter. We took another picture and that is when I decided to go even shorter as I did not want to have to see my hair fall out. We used just the flat clipper on my head which made it as short as you can go before you shave it. All went well and I never cried or got upset. I had been ready for this
for quite a long time and had come to terms with the fact that I was going to lose my hair, but as long as I had a say in it, it was going to be on my terms, not the terms of the cancer!

10-31

Missed Halloween with the family. Apparently Britt changed her mind and did not want to dress up this year. Rob & I went to dinner and came home, no trick or treaters here this year or for any year as far as that goes. No kids on this street.

11-­1 to 11­-5

The week went by just fine. Went to work, bought birthday cards for Britt and Randy, things around the house, picked up prescriptions for my chemo on Friday and such. A steady week waiting for Friday to get here. I am so ready to get these chemotherapy sessions going in order to get them over and restart my life.

11-­6

Finally, second chemo session is here. I worked a half a day and then Rob & I went for our 1:00 p.m. appointment. Had a quick meeting with Dr. Kunta and then we had our injection of meds. Not so bad, I took a couple of naps in there somewhere. We started at 1:00 and ended at 5:30. It was a long day, but now I have 2 sessions left. YEAH!!! Britts 11th b­irthday today also! I called and sang the Happy B­irthday song to her.  My nieces and nephews are awesome!  I love their birthdays!
11­-7 to 11­-8

I am feeling ok so far (usually do the first two days). Today the 7th is another beautiful day and am ok so far. Church tomorrow. Checked the mail today, our invoice from South Lake Hospital was in there with a total of over $60,000.00. Our portion was $331.00. Thank goodness for insurance. Goodness gracious.

11-9

Ok so I did not make church yesterday as I was not feeling well and slept in. Monday was ok in the morning, but it hit me earlier that same day. The nausea, diarrhea, stomach aches, very weak, body aches, teeth aches, just all in all the ugh feeling. The flu feeling as they say. Rob & I went to Dr. Kunta’s office for my shot, and my blood pressure was 88/58. A little LOW. Yes, I know I need to drink more water. I try, I really do. I am trying to drink anything to keep the fluids in me. I do not know why it is difficult for me. And no, I do not want to go to the hospital for fluids or Dr. Kunta’s office for that matter. I did remember to call my big brother, Randy, for his b­day today.  I can hardly believe it – just glad I’m here to see it.  Rob has been taking great care of me and I could not ask for anyone or anything more than him being here.

11-10

Out of work today as well. Not well, but getting better. Every day gets a little better. Went for a walk today, but I get weak and tired more often at this time.  Inside all day, but we went out to Crispers for salads and fruit. Spending time with Rob is always a great time. I did find however, when we went to the Sweet Bay Supermarket after that people tend to stare at you when you have no hair. I am sure they are not trying to be rude, just wondering so I think (as Rob suggested) that I get a shirt made that says “I HAD Cancer” so the wondering is left out. It says it plain as day and they can stop staring. Oh well. Who really cares! It is just one of many things that I have noticed since all of this has taken place.

11-­11

Had another expansion today. Dr. Bosshardt put in 120 cc’s, which puts me at 300 cc’s. Not sure how much longer I will go in to be expanded. I am not going to be too big, just comfortable.

I would never in a million years have reconstructive surgery on any part of my body, but when faced with Cancer – I guess some things change.  I would have never done it had it not been for my illness.  It’s just not me.

11-­13 to 11-­14

Very nice days. Beautiful weather. Shopping around for a stainless Rice Steamer. Boy are they hard to find. Rob & I went into JC Penny and saw a woman walking out with her daughter who could not stop staring at me, and Rob. I find that very rude. As I mentioned it to Rob, he made a statement that I should just stop and say something like “Yes, I have Cancer and this is what my head looks like without hair.”  I feel deep down that I might just do that if it happens again as I feel this is very rude and it is happening way too often. Lord grant me the proper tongue to use when addressing this situation.

11­-15

Church at 9:30 at Real Life. Pastor Justin is such a great Pastor. He makes the sermons interesting and funny. I enjoy his sermons and his antics he uses to get us all involved and stay interested. I found at the end being drawn to the baptisms. I have been told that I was baptized as a baby, but I do not remember. I have been through so much lately and know that God and others are with me always, but there is something about being baptized, again. I feel that in order to help others in any way, shape or form and myself, I need this.  I know that God is with me, my Angels are beside me, and that I am loved beyond measure.  This I never doubted and trust.  I know – just know, there is no question about it.  I can’t explain it, it just is.

11­-18

Another session with Dr. Bosshardt for another expansion process. Went out to see Larry, Leah, & Cody, Skip & Barbara, John & Arlene as well as Terry & Glen (w/ daughter) to Lake Buena Vista. It had been years since I had seen them. Randy, Cheryl, Heather & Brittany were there as well as mom & dad.  It was so nice to have everyone under one roof again.  It’s been so long and so many years have passed.  We all grew up together in South Florida.  Oh the memories!!

Here are a few pics I wanted to share…

Randy & I   Randy & I

Gang  The Gang!!

Me  Ah, no hair and a smile!