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Dear Goddess

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in Uncategorized

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Irina Karkabi

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               Dear Goddess

I remember you dear Goddess. You were my long walk on the  Pacific ocean.

You were the view from the ridge of a great mountain. You showed me your perfect beauty.

I have tried to touch your kind gifts with appreciation and concern. I love the sea, the great valley of flowers and the secret and hidden places of the mountain range.

I loved your song. I loved the whispering of dancing sea, the free land and laughing children. You taught me.

Life is my decision. To love the earth and dance gently upon her. You are our lifeblood and gift to appreciate and protect.

Dear Goddess. Thank you for the new day and opportunity to dance with the sea, to sing with the wind and to celebrate the free gifts of nature.

John Castellenas/Coyote

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THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART VI

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART VI

10-­23-09

I went back to work for the first full day of work and felt good.

10­-25

Rob (ran) and I (walked) the Susan G. Komen 5k Race for the Cure at UCF. The race started at 7:45 a.m. Rob & I rode there with our doctor, Dr. Jason Boardman (surgeon), his staff and other cancer patients on a Coach Bus #5501. We had a really good time with a ceremony afterwards.

10-­26

Back to work this week.  Can’t wait to see the gang!

10­-28­

Back to see Dr. Bosshardt today. Second expansion went very well. I felt the saline expand the expanders this time. Have to wait for the next until 11/12 as Dr. Bosshardt is on vacation.

10­-29

The time went by just fine. Going back and forth to work, doing things around the house, etc. Everything was fine except for the fact that the week of the 29th my scalp started to ache and my hair started to fall out, a lot. So, as I have stated to others before, I took matters into my own hands.

10-30

As I was getting ready for work and was doing my hair, I noticed more of my was falling out. So, I prayed that it would just last until that night when I could get home and Rob could cut it off for me. The time has come!  When I got home from work, Rob & I went to dinner (Crispers) and afterward we came home where he brought out the new clippers we bought and began to cut my hair. He first used a #4 all over my head except for right down the middle where we tried to give me a Mohawk, but my hair was so thick and curly that it wanted to fall over. LOL! We took a picture anyway. After that, Rob began to continue with my hair cut by using a #1 on my head, which made my hair even shorter. We took another picture and that is when I decided to go even shorter as I did not want to have to see my hair fall out. We used just the flat clipper on my head which made it as short as you can go before you shave it. All went well and I never cried or got upset. I had been ready for this
for quite a long time and had come to terms with the fact that I was going to lose my hair, but as long as I had a say in it, it was going to be on my terms, not the terms of the cancer!

10-31

Missed Halloween with the family. Apparently Britt changed her mind and did not want to dress up this year. Rob & I went to dinner and came home, no trick or treaters here this year or for any year as far as that goes. No kids on this street.

11-­1 to 11­-5

The week went by just fine. Went to work, bought birthday cards for Britt and Randy, things around the house, picked up prescriptions for my chemo on Friday and such. A steady week waiting for Friday to get here. I am so ready to get these chemotherapy sessions going in order to get them over and restart my life.

11-­6

Finally, second chemo session is here. I worked a half a day and then Rob & I went for our 1:00 p.m. appointment. Had a quick meeting with Dr. Kunta and then we had our injection of meds. Not so bad, I took a couple of naps in there somewhere. We started at 1:00 and ended at 5:30. It was a long day, but now I have 2 sessions left. YEAH!!! Britts 11th b­irthday today also! I called and sang the Happy B­irthday song to her.  My nieces and nephews are awesome!  I love their birthdays!
11­-7 to 11­-8

I am feeling ok so far (usually do the first two days). Today the 7th is another beautiful day and am ok so far. Church tomorrow. Checked the mail today, our invoice from South Lake Hospital was in there with a total of over $60,000.00. Our portion was $331.00. Thank goodness for insurance. Goodness gracious.

11-9

Ok so I did not make church yesterday as I was not feeling well and slept in. Monday was ok in the morning, but it hit me earlier that same day. The nausea, diarrhea, stomach aches, very weak, body aches, teeth aches, just all in all the ugh feeling. The flu feeling as they say. Rob & I went to Dr. Kunta’s office for my shot, and my blood pressure was 88/58. A little LOW. Yes, I know I need to drink more water. I try, I really do. I am trying to drink anything to keep the fluids in me. I do not know why it is difficult for me. And no, I do not want to go to the hospital for fluids or Dr. Kunta’s office for that matter. I did remember to call my big brother, Randy, for his b­day today.  I can hardly believe it – just glad I’m here to see it.  Rob has been taking great care of me and I could not ask for anyone or anything more than him being here.

11-10

Out of work today as well. Not well, but getting better. Every day gets a little better. Went for a walk today, but I get weak and tired more often at this time.  Inside all day, but we went out to Crispers for salads and fruit. Spending time with Rob is always a great time. I did find however, when we went to the Sweet Bay Supermarket after that people tend to stare at you when you have no hair. I am sure they are not trying to be rude, just wondering so I think (as Rob suggested) that I get a shirt made that says “I HAD Cancer” so the wondering is left out. It says it plain as day and they can stop staring. Oh well. Who really cares! It is just one of many things that I have noticed since all of this has taken place.

11-­11

Had another expansion today. Dr. Bosshardt put in 120 cc’s, which puts me at 300 cc’s. Not sure how much longer I will go in to be expanded. I am not going to be too big, just comfortable.

I would never in a million years have reconstructive surgery on any part of my body, but when faced with Cancer – I guess some things change.  I would have never done it had it not been for my illness.  It’s just not me.

11-­13 to 11-­14

Very nice days. Beautiful weather. Shopping around for a stainless Rice Steamer. Boy are they hard to find. Rob & I went into JC Penny and saw a woman walking out with her daughter who could not stop staring at me, and Rob. I find that very rude. As I mentioned it to Rob, he made a statement that I should just stop and say something like “Yes, I have Cancer and this is what my head looks like without hair.”  I feel deep down that I might just do that if it happens again as I feel this is very rude and it is happening way too often. Lord grant me the proper tongue to use when addressing this situation.

11­-15

Church at 9:30 at Real Life. Pastor Justin is such a great Pastor. He makes the sermons interesting and funny. I enjoy his sermons and his antics he uses to get us all involved and stay interested. I found at the end being drawn to the baptisms. I have been told that I was baptized as a baby, but I do not remember. I have been through so much lately and know that God and others are with me always, but there is something about being baptized, again. I feel that in order to help others in any way, shape or form and myself, I need this.  I know that God is with me, my Angels are beside me, and that I am loved beyond measure.  This I never doubted and trust.  I know – just know, there is no question about it.  I can’t explain it, it just is.

11­-18

Another session with Dr. Bosshardt for another expansion process. Went out to see Larry, Leah, & Cody, Skip & Barbara, John & Arlene as well as Terry & Glen (w/ daughter) to Lake Buena Vista. It had been years since I had seen them. Randy, Cheryl, Heather & Brittany were there as well as mom & dad.  It was so nice to have everyone under one roof again.  It’s been so long and so many years have passed.  We all grew up together in South Florida.  Oh the memories!!

Here are a few pics I wanted to share…

Randy & I   Randy & I

Gang  The Gang!!

Me  Ah, no hair and a smile!

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART V

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART V

It’s funny how something like this reveals the people in your life (family and friends) who are really there for you and those who just can’t take you being ill and leave you.  It’s heartbreaking, but eye-opening. Lord help me ~ I don’t get it…

Surgery was on October 2, 2009, it’s been 11 days of having these drains, pain pump and port in. The port I’ll have for a while, but the pump and drains come out soon.  They are uncomfortable and trying to sleep with them, forget it.  I cannot get comfortable sleeping so Rob will come and lay behind me so I can lean on him and then, finally then, I can rest and get some sleep.  I relax, close my eyes and fall asleep with him behind me – holding me and holding me up in a comfortable position to sleep.

I CANNOT LOOK at myself YET or do I even want to. I cannot even bring myself to wash. I just
cannot do it. Rob hung a sheet up in the bathroom so that I would not have to look in the mirror and he also dries me off. I could not bring myself to do any of it.  One, because I was still in pain and two, because I was just not ready. It’s one thing to see yourself in the mirror as whole person and another to see yourself in the mirror after a surgery with something missing.

10-13

I had an appointment with my reconstruction doctor, Dr. Bosshardt, for my first checkup after surgery. Dr. Bosshardt removed my bandages, my drains on both sides as well as my pain pump. I was wrapped so tightly that I thought it was supposed to be that way. I never questioned because you assume the hospital staff and OR staff  know what they are doing.  Dr. Bosshardt was
very upset that I was wrapped so tight by the OR staff.  Dr. Bosshardt  proceeded to remove my stitches, which I was unaware that he wanted to do that. I do believe it’s best sometimes that one does not know what a doctor is going to do so he can just do it. It saves the patient (me) from being anxious or having an anxiety attack of the thought of something getting ready to occur.  (Thank goodness for the anxiety meds)

On a side note, Dr. Bosshardt of Tavares, FL is awesome!  He is so nice and made me feel comfortable and like he really cared about me as a person and was there for me at all hours.  Most times that is missing in doctors anymore.

STILL CANNOT LOOK YET!

10-16

Ah, my first session of chemotherapy at 10:00 a.m. I was so nervous because I did not know what
to expect. The port that was placed in just above what was my left breast and below my collar-bone.  The port is very uncomfortable and feels like it touches the expander. The nurse, Billie, was very nice and attentive in making sure I was comfortable. She sprayed some numbing spray on the port area so that I would not feel the needle insertion. The numbing spray freezes up and makes the area very cold, I did not feel a thing. Before I knew it, she had entered the needle and the first drips of  a combination of benadryl and anxiety medicine were already being started. After those two I began my TC meds or cocktails.

10-17 & 18

The weekend went just fine. I only had slight nausea, but other than that I felt fine.

STILL CANNOT LOOK YET or want to. I cannot even bring myself to wash. I just cannot do it.

10-19 to 22

I went in to the office of my Oncologist, Dr. Kunta, for my shot to boost my white blood cells with RN, Laura on the 19th. Oh goodness, that is when it hit me. I was nauseous all throughout the week
with stomach discomfort constantly. I was not really hungry or thirsty for anything, but I had to keep drinking especially water to keep myself hydrated. Thank goodness for Rob to keep up with me.

10-21

I thought I was feeling better and tried to go to work, but only made it three (3) hours. Rob came and got me and took me home to rest. I slept most of the afternoon. I was much better the following afternoon.  Eric, Herb, Esq. and Lynn from my work are all so helpful and supportive.  I can’t believe I lucked out and have individuals like this in my life.  And, let’s not forget about Cindy, Kathy, Blair, and Dusty who have all been so supportive and always there for me.  What great people I can call my friends.  My Winter Garden crew!

I had my first appointment with Dr. Bosshardt for my first expansion which went well. I was nervous, but did not feel a thing. It was painless and Dr. Bosshardt and his nurse Lauren are great!!

FINALLY ~
I tried to wash myself and it went ok. I still have a hard time touching the areas and have a hard time trying to look into the mirror. I cannot put Palmers lotion on or Vitamin E oil on as needed because I am not strong enough mentally, so Rob does ALL of these things and MORE for me. With no complaints – only a smile and loving words.

10-22

I had a 9:00 a.m. therapy appointment with Kristi Secrest for my right side. I had met with her prior to surgery where she gave me some exercises to do afterward and that I had been doing all along. Those exercises were great and helped me stay ahead of the game as far as therapy. When I went in, she stated I looked great and that I did not need to come back in to see her, but just keep up on my exercises and call her if I need her. It was suggested that I come in to see her when I am ready to move my exercises to light weights so we can go through the safest way to work that in. Other than that, I can move forward, stay on top of my exercises and there is no reason why I cannot workout if I feel like it. Just take it easy.

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART IV ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART IV ~

I used to get my nails done before all this. I really enjoyed that one little thing I could do for myself, but as I stared down at my nails I was reminded that as it turned out, it would not be good for me as a Cancer patient to have them done any longer. It just was not safe and I could not take any chances with my health. So, on September 29, 2009,  I had a nail appointment to take off the Gel nails that I had on. They were my real nails underneath, but I needed the Gel soaked off
before surgery and chemo because I cannot take the risk of being around any area like a nail salon
due to health reasons. The following day we had plans for dinner with the family at Olive Garden
across town. As we all walked in we were escorted to a table in the back of the restaurant. It was
nice to have everyone together, almost everyone. My younger brother, Jay, lived in CT and so far away. Jay and I were so close growing up, but as we got older and he had a family we kind of grew apart. I remember sitting there in the chair surrounded by my family and missing him at the same time. As I leaned over to say something to my younger niece, Brittany, I happen to look up and see this guy walking this way across the restaurant. It was Jay! I was so excited I could not believe it. Jay flew in to surprise me in order to be here with me for my procedure. I was so surprised and was so very happy to see him that I started to cry at seeing him there at the restaurant. For him to fly all this way and be here for me at the time of my surgery made my heart complete.

October 2, 2009 is here and as I wake up this morning I tend to move slowly. I feel a little outside of myself and am not really effected yet by the impending surgery to remove both my breasts and reconstruction at the same time. Surgery is scheduled for 1:30 p.m. today, so I need to be at the hospital at 11:00 a.m. to check my system with regard to the radiation injection that was given to me the day before. After I checked in, I was taken upstairs to the second floor where I was prepped for surgery. I was so nervous and just knew that I would wake up sometime soon and this would all be a dream.  Still reeling through my head is the saying “Is this really happening and am I really going to have my two breasts removed because of Cancer?” I was so nervous that Rob & I had our Wills prepared by Eric S. Mashburn, P.A. on September 28, 2009. I knew it was not my time, but you never know. I was not ready to go, but I was prepared, had no regrets and everyone knew I loved them. After I was in a gown, in bed and an IV inserted to relax me, Rob came back and stayed with me and then my family came in to visit one last time before I went in. When mom came in she started crying, which made me cry and then Jay cry who came in after her. Dr. Bosshardt and Dr. Boardman came in to see me and make sure everything was ready to go. It was nice to see them. The nurses were very nice and attentive and so was the anesthesiologist who reminded me of my cousin Kimmie in Maryland. All the way down to her mannerisms. That made me feel good as she was the last face I saw before I went under and she said that “I will be right here taking care of you.”  Ah, I feel peace. I gave Rob a kiss goodbye while crying at the same time that I was being rolled down the hallway toward surgery. At that moment, I did realize that I was scarred of not coming out of surgery. When I jumped out of a perfectly good plane, I was not scared of not making it to the ground in one piece.  But with this, I was scarred of not waking up. Is that strange or what?
One of the nurses stopped to get me a warm blanket, which is when I proceeded to converse with a
fellow patient who I saw in another bed. I said “Hi” and so did he. Nervousness again, but being
friendly to others. As I was wheeled into surgery, everyone was talking about food and I had not
eaten since the night before so I made a joke about them discussing food in front of me. Ha!
Other than the face of the anesthesiologist, that is the last thing I remember.

I stayed two nights in the hospital (and so did Rob). He slept in the chair right beside me. I was so surprised that he really did that. He said he was going to, but I did not think he would. That made me feel so much better knowing that I was not alone in the hospital. The two days went by without incident. I had a lot of pain what with the drains on each side, a new port on my upper left side of my chest and a pain pump attached as well for the pain in my chest. It was all something else. I could
not do a thing without Rob there to help me. He was there for me the whole entire time with the moving, restroom needs, and feeding me. Family and friends came in and out to visit me and make sure I was doing well. Randy and Cheryl had brought my nieces, Heather and Brittany up to visit me.  Brittany helped feed me after she was assured that I was ok. I had her come up onto the bed with me so that she could see I was in fact alright. God love her!! She is so sweet that she did not want to hurt me.

I’M NOT READY TO LET YOU GO!

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in September

I had taken a break from blogging for a few days as my baby, Caesar, has been ill for quite some time and got worse lately.  I took him for a second opinion on Friday, only to find out he has kidney disease and a 4-5 cm mass by his spine (Cancer).  It was a very sad and awful weekend as we had to make the decision to let him go and not be in pain any longer.  He is now an Angel in heaven with his sister Cleopatra and brother Tucker running and playing.  They are all Angels now!  It was the worst and hardest decision we have had to make in a long time.  He was so sweet and gave us 10 1/2 years of nothing but love and kisses.  Lordy but that boy loved his snuggles and to be held like a baby.

My baby Caesar, I can’t stop crying.  I miss you so much that I feel so empty and lost without you.  You gave us so much that I still see you everywhere.  No matter where I look, there you are.  I’m not ready to let you go.  Lord help me I’m not ready…

Caesar & Wings

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART III ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in August

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART III ~

The following day on August 28 and at 9:15 a.m., Rob & I met with a man who would be a
part of our lives for quite some time, Dr. Gopal Kunta, an oncologist who had a great bedside
manner and is so very nice to talk to. He stated that since I was a triple negative he would be very
aggressive with my treatment in that he would suggest four cocktails. So, between this information
and the fact that he is sending me for four scans, a CT, PET, MUGA and Bone scan, I wanted a
second opinion. With that in mind, I set out for an appointment with MD Anderson Cancer
Center for the following week. After my appointment with a doctor there who stated that while
my case is aggressive, four cocktails do not prove scientifically and beyond a shadow of a doubt to
be any better than just three. With this information in hand, I decided to stay with Dr. Kunta and go with just the three cocktails and lose the last cocktail as it would be hard on my heart in years to come. If there was no research in place stating that four was any better than three and if it were not for the fact that the results were the same no matter which way you went, then by all means I am going to not put any undue medical issue on my heart than is already going to be there. My scans were all set with a CT scan and a PET scan scheduled for August 31st, a MUGA scan for September 4th, and a BONE scan for September 1st.

As Rob & I walked into the office building for my first round of scans to come in a long
line of scans I looked around and noticed that we were all there for the same reason, Cancer. The
wait was not long, but intense at the same time. A nurse came out and called my name and off I
went. We walked outside to a trailer like building as this was where they did their CT scans. This
was a trailer that could be moved from office to office in order to assist everyone in need. The
nurse and I took the little outside elevator up to the doorway and in I went. As I walked in I
noticed this big machine to the left where I would later lay down and be scanned, a computer table
directly in front of me for the nurse to monitor me and then to my right was a chair where I sat
down and she prepared a little cocktail for me to drink, which looked like and tasted like flat
Sprite, but of course it wasn’t. It was a medical drink, which lights up your insides so as to see
what’s going on in there. After the CT scan I was escorted back into the office building where I
would be getting a PET scan. I was then taken back to a room where, when I walked in I noticed
this bigger machine that I would later be scanned by and was given another cocktail that tasted like
a smoothie, a coconut drink. But of course this too was a medical drink wherein it highlighted your
inner being so as to see it more clearly. All in all the scans were not so bad. The drinks you have
to take to do a CT scan and a PET scan were as well as could be expected.  I suppose they could have been worse. With all of that said and done, my results came back clean. It did not look as though the cancer had spread anywhere else.

On August 31st Rob & I met with Dr. Graham, a radiologist who we eventually would not
need, but did not know that at the time. I was nervous, a bit scared and still waiting to wake up from this because I just felt fine. But I would never tell anyone else that. I just prayed a lot and put it all – in God’s hands. My meeting with Dr. Graham, the radiologist was a good one. He is a very nice  man who as well liked the way Dr. Boardman and Dr. Kunta were being so aggressive with this as this is a very aggressive type of cancer and a triple negative. We spoke for a while and when Rob and I left, we both felt good about the doctors who were handling our case. Before we walked out the door, however, Dr. Graham gave me a notebook that I had been looking at in his office, the
LIVESTRONG notebook. A big binder with tons of helpful information for Cancer patients,
resources, a place for all of your receipts, your records that you will be getting and inspirational
stories. A GREAT notebook indeed for all to have.

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART II ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in August

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART II ~

After I talked to Rob I then proceeded to Eric’s office where I sat down in one of the
chairs in front of his desk and just looked at him. He looked at me and asked me what was wrong
and I then proceeded to tell him about my call just now from Dr. Boardman. Eric is a cancer
survivor as well, a melanoma cancer survivor so he understood exactly what I was feeling and
going through. He went on to say that I will beat this without hesitation. I remember him saying
that the treatment today is not like what they had 20 years ago and he knew I would be ok. I
remember him saying this, but at the same time I was still in shock.  He is a great friend and boss.

Later that evening and after Rob and I had discussed this in length, I decided it was time
to tell my family. I remember that I waited until I had my shower and was cleaned up, grabbed my
cell phone as I knew this was going to be a long night and proceeded to call each member of my
family – starting with my mom, my dad, my brother Randy and then my brother Jay. I remember
telling Randy that I wanted to be the one to tell my nieces in person and I would do so soon. I could not be the one to tell my nephews in person like I wanted to because they lived in Connecticut at the time. The calls were trying at first, but through each one I was very optimistic and had my faith that everything would be alright and advised my family of this each time I talked to them. That following weekend I went over to Randy’s across town where I pulled the girls aside by myself to have a talk. The girls and I always talk like this about many things so this was not going to be any different, just about a different topic. I love those girls like they were my own, so to see their eyes and feel their heart when I told them was heart wrenching, but I was very positive about it and told them that it would all be ok. I just knew it would be. I reminded them that our family were fighters and that is exactly what I intend to do.

On a warm sunny day in August, Rob & I went to the office of Dr. Boardman to discuss his findings. As we were waiting in the waiting room, I could see these books around a table on Breast Cancer and thinking to myself “really, am I really going to have to be picking up one of those books to see where my life is about to be headed?” When just at that moment we were called back to meet with Dr. Boardman. As we went into one of the examination rooms, Rob sat in the corner with a note pad and pen and I sat up on the table. He was going to be the one to take notes, ask questions and remember what the doctor said because I knew I was not going to be in any shape to remember exactly what he was saying. When Dr. Boardman came into the room and we began discussing my having Invasive Ductal Carcinoma “Cancer” and it is triple negative, I could not help but start crying and thinking “is this real?” as well as “is this really happening to me?” I felt just fine. I did not feel sick – I felt normal, healthy. I never once said “why me” just “is this real”. Dr. Boardman continued to give me my options and as I listened intensely at the words that were coming out of his mouth, my first thought was take them both, take them both because I do not want them. I advised Dr. Boardman that I wanted a Double Mastectomy and that was that. I only wanted to go through this one time. My reasons have specifically been that I only wanted to go through this pain one time and one time only, I did not need breasts (they only get in the way anyway) and if I had Cancer in one breast whose to say I won’t get it in the other down the road. The sooner the better I say. By the end of our appointment Dr. Boardman had scheduled my surgery for October 2nd at 1:30 and recommended an Oncologist that he thought we should meet right away and whom he thought would fight this cancer as aggressively as he was and that was going to be the only way to fight this, aggressively.

To Be Continued…

Nutrition Facts

Always with Light, Love, Strength, Enlightenment and Guidance!

Day 11: The Inward Journey: Forgiveness Heals.

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in Uncategorized

Mindfulness Exercise…

I See You, I mean really See You!

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in Uncategorized

smilebe4tears's avatarsmilebe4tears

image

I See You!

Since starting this blog I have come across some very special people, some of which I find myself caring about and if I don’t hear from them I check on them, and they check on me.
I have even made two very good friends that I hope as time passes we will meet and become lifetime friends for I never want to lose contact with either one.

I read this (below) and Only I Know the Real Me came flashing into my mind and heart and I just wanted her to know that I see, adore and cherish everything about her, from her scarecrow hair to the invisible puddle of tears at her feet. She is the first and dearest friend I made because I started my blog, and we except each other just as we are. I just wish we were not on each end of…

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CHARLIE CHAPLIN

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in August
This funny man sums up all that we thrive for in life.  (Shared via Linda Shell)

As I Began to Love Myself – Self Love Poem by Charlie Chaplin

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time
was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this
person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens
at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in
my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for
my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew
me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude
a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since
I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry
about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING
is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my
mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this
connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing
new worlds are born.Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!

Charlie Chaplin

Charlie Chaplin

Trekking the Teton Crest Trail

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in Uncategorized

Trekking the Teton Crest Trail

Open Your Wings…

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in Uncategorized

Carolina Russo | Sa’Reyah's avatarCarolina Russo |Sa'Reyah

Title - Peaceful Sensation Digital Art

Open your wings…
When you overcome something that was hurting you and your soul deeply…
you learn a new way to express life in another dimension and you have a choice…
you can turn something that was bad into something good.
Open your wings to other be free and let your heart fly without fears…
you could be an Angel to someone else.

-CR

Copyright© Carolina Russo

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THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ Part I ~ Have You Ever Wondered What It’s Like…

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in August

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ Part I ~ Have You Ever Wondered What It’s Like…

In order for us to have a friendship and communicate well, we should get to know each other a little better.  So, I thought I would share my story so others can understand what it’s like to live with and live through Cancer.

I have had mammograms since I was thirty-­five because of a cyst I had found through a
self-examination, which turned out to be only that. When I was thirty­-eight, I had another
Mammogram as I usually do every October which turned out to be clean. Seven months later and
once I had moved to Minneola, FL, I wanted to find another doctor closer than where I was
going in order to be more efficient and close. I located an ad for a Dr. Mary Beth Lewis-
Boardman located here in the Clermont, FL area and proceeded to make her my official new OBGYN.  In July of 2009 as I waited in the cold exam room with nothing on but a gown so as to have my examination, I sat and wondered about the usual day-to-day routines in life. As my examination completed, Dr. Lewis suggested I get a mammogram even though October was right around the corner and was my usual date for such. I sat and wondered and asked why she thought I needed to get the mammogram done now instead of in October. I had even asked if she felt something during the examination. She stated that she did not feel anything but thought that it might be a good idea to go ahead and just get it over with. I could not agree more so I decided to go ahead and let her staff make me an appointment. On week later I was sitting in the waiting area to go back for my mammogram still only thinking of the daily routines in life and that I really need to get back to work. A job I had just started. As I was being called back for my examination, Helen, who had sympathy for the women coming for mammograms was professional yet nice. The machine that is used to squeeze, pull and smash your breast, however, was not so nice or warm I might add.  As my examination ended, Helen stated my test results would be sent out for review and then the results to the doctor.

As we all know, mammograms are compared to the previous so as to make sure
everything is still normal. My mammogram taken that day in July of 2009 was compared to my
prior mammogram taken in October of 2008 and showed abnormalities and I was advised by Dr. Lewis that a biopsy would be needed and she knew just the doctor. In August I went to see Dr. Jason Boardman of Clermont, FL who was very nice and completed the biopsy in a timely manner. Again I was not thinking of a thing other than I am sure this is just cyst as before. I never gave it a second thought that it could be Cancer. I continued through life with my daily routines and my new job just as always when on August 25 and while at work Dr. Boardman called. It was 3:30 p.m. and
slow that day at work at the Law Office of Eric S. Mashburn. I was at my desk working away
on opening new client files and procedures when out of the blue my cell phone rang. I got up from
my desk with my cell phone in my hand and went into the kitchen to talk. It was Dr. Boardman on
the other end who stated he personally wanted to call me and call me at work instead of having me
wait for an official office visit for the news of the biopsy. He went on further to state that my
results had just came back and that the biopsy was proven to be cancerous. He then stated that
there was no easy way to tell anyone this, but I had cancer. I realized I had walked out of the
kitchen and into the hallway of the office (which is a very small office) and was staring down the
hallway into the office of Mr. Mashburn when I remember saying to Dr. Boardman that I
appreciated the fact that he called me and he called me at work to tell me. I would have hated to
have to wait for an office visit to find out. He stated that my case is “Invasive Ductal
Carcinoma and triple negative at that” and that I needed to make an appointment to come in to see
him to discuss this further and as soon as possible. I then, while still in a daze, proceeded to make an appointment for an office visit.

After I hung up the phone and while still in disbelief and shock I called Rob at work to
give him the news. I knew I should not tell him such things at work and it might be better in
person, but he would be upset if I did not call him to tell him right away and I did not think I could
wait until I got home to tell him. When I called Rob at work and told him the news from Dr.
Boardman he was in shock but went right into action. He said that we will fight this and that
treatment is not the same as they had 20 years ago. He was already going into his fighting/action
mode without hesitation. He is a fact getter, researcher, learns and retains a lot especially when it
comes to medical issues and nutrition. He was and is my strength.

To Be Continued…

Until tomorrow my Angels!  Always with Light, Love, Strength, Guidance & Our Warrior Within!

SWEET DREAMS ~

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in August

I understand sometimes we do not remember our dreams, but know that we slept pretty soundly.  Just know this,

Dreams

Are There Angels

© Kathy J Parenteau

Are there angels here beside us as we journey life’s winding road,
Sent from heaven here to guide us along future paths unknown?

I saw an angel in my dream with an
iridescent smile,
raven hair, delicate wings and a
warm angelic style.
She bore a sweet resemblance to
someone I used to know,
but the era had lapsed, long since passed, for the winds of time do blow.
She told me of a heavenly land, a
paradise she claimed,
that awaits the souls of everyone who
worships God’s name.
She showed me living waters baring
life of endless flow,
unconditional love for our master above
a place where streets are paved in gold.
And when my dream came to an end she
kissed me tenderly,
whispered we’ll soon meet again when
God feels it’s meant to be.
In the morning I awakened to the
dawning of the day,
with my spirit a glow for I’d been
kissed by a rose,
in this dream I’ll cherish till my
dying day.

Yes angels walk beside us however
unbelievable it seems,
sent from heaven here to guide us
even in our dreams.

Always with Light, Love, Strength, Enlightenment, Guidance and OUR Warrior Within!  Have a great Monday my Angels and may your day be light and heavenly.  Cheers!

__The Medicine wheel

Posted on by Enlightenment Angels in Uncategorized

“We are one.
Let’s pray for peace.”

East wind-Yellow people-Path of light-Spiritual-courage.
West wind -Red people-Path of vision-physical-prayer
North wind-White people-Path of quiet-Mental-wisdom
South wind-Black people-Path of peace-natural-trust

johncoyote's avatarjohncoyote

MedicineWheel[1]

The Medicine wheel

A Poem by Coyote Poetry

"

Old Native American wisdom. We need to gather as one people to save earth and all people.

"

dreamcatcher

Wisdom of the Medicine wheel.

(I have been lucky. Many kind Native Americans took me under their wing and taught me how to find peace.)

At the Mall I went to the so-call Native American store. A Middle Eastern  man tried to sell me a China’s made items. I touched a Medicine Wheel.

I told the man. “A proper Medicine Wheel has the power of the four winds.” I touched a  Dream Catcher.” A real one would protect your spirit and keep bad dreams away.”

He grinned at me. He didn’t understand a word that I have spoken. He told me. “Does the same things.” I leave the store with nothing.

I sat with my Apache Friend and his family outside the gate of Fort…

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