EST. JUNE 2015 FOR THE SHARING OF ANGELIC GUIDANCE/LIFE/LIGHT & LOVE
THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART VIII
12-14-09
This week was a regular work week and an office visit to Dr. Bosshardt for one more expansion. I want no regrets and feel this is a good choice. I am not that big, just slightly bigger than I was originally. After today, I have a two-week waiting process before we start moving toward the 20% and then we wait two (2) months before surgery. Surgery for the reconstruction process and the removal of the port that I have had for so long.
12-21
My LAST chemo. YEAH! A little nervous as there is a feeling of comfort knowing that you are getting medication to help fight the cancer, but on the other hand those same medications are brutally hard on your body. With that, I am ready for the last one and know that the cancer has NOT spread and by staying on my same nutritional path and exercise I can keep the cancer away forever and be a survivor forever with no re-occurrence. I worked a half day Monday, a full day on Tuesday, had my last shot on Wednesday (for my immune system) – – cold and hurt like heck!!, worked half a day Thursday (Christmas eve) and we were off Friday. Yeah! Nice week – finally.
I was ill Thursday and Friday and started to get better Saturday. Rob & I went over to see the family for Christmas Saturday since I was unable to on Christmas day. Happy Birthday to Heather Marie who is 19 this year on Christmas. Unbelievable.
I have to say that although I do not regret my decision regarding the “one more expansion”, they are getting so uncomfortable that I cannot wait for surgery so as to actually have the implants in that are more comfortable and so I can sleep better. These things are feeling hard and now I know what exactly the doctors meant when they said that there would be no feeling in your breast, no normal feeling, as that is exactly what I am experiencing and am uncertain on how I feel about that. Having a double mastectomy takes all feeling away. Not that I really had a choice in the matter.
12-28
I have a short week this week what with New Years and all. I am off Thursday (personal day) and Friday is New Years day, 2010. Rob and I are off to St. Augustine, FL for the weekend of New Years 2010 and look forward to a little vacation. It has been a long last six (6) months and I need a little away time. St. Augustine is always a great place to go for a getaway.
12-30-09 to 12-31-09
New Years Eve and Anniversary on 1-1: Rob & I traveled to St. Augustine, FL where we go every year and stay at the Carriage Way Bed & Breakfast. John, Larry & Bill are so great and our stay is always the best. We got there on the 31st and spent New Years Eve watching the ball drop with John. The rest of the weekend was nice as Rob & I ate at some very nice restaurants (The Reef, The Bubble Room, The Maya Restaurant, and The Florida Cracker) and finding out what I could eat became a little easier.
1-1-10
Our anniversary, three (3) years. Rob & I spent the day touring around St. Augustine and had dinner at “The Reef”. A nice restaurant on the water there with a nice view. A lot has happened in our three years married – and he’s still hanging around. Most would have already left me and probably couldn’t handle it. I say this from experience losing friends and family while I am ill.
1-11
Today I am set to get my first set of scans after the chemo treatment. My first scan, the PET scan is at 7:00 a.m. and the CT is scheduled for 9:00 a.m. Rob is going with me to get them done and we wait for a week to get the results on the 18th at 3:00 p.m. with Dr. Kunta.
All went well and after Rob & I went to breakfast at Perkins. Now, the fun is over and back to work.
Today I was surprised by an early 40th birthday party at the restaurant “Dutch” by Rob. He had asked me if I wanted to go with him to Home Depot to refill the grill tank and then to lunch. So sure, I was up to it. We decided on lunch at Dutch, me not knowing that there was a party in the back.
When I walked in, Dutch (the owner) took us to the back where there was better seating – through the kitchen I might add – and when I walked through everyone yelled “surprise.” I started to cry because it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. There were many people who actually wanted to be there to show me that they loved me and are happy that I am here, 40, and we all know I will be Cancer free. For a small list of who was there: Bob and Annaliese, mom and dad, Randy & Cheryl, Heather and Brittany, Trina, David and Brittany, Theresa, Uncle Frank and Aunt Mary, Uncle Jack and Aunt Jill, Heath, Karlos, Matt, Sandy and Matt’s mom, Lynn (from work), Cindy & Kathy (from work), Barry & Kristi, Yvette and her two children, and Lori and Megan. What a great surprise.
After my last 20% expansion this morning with Dr. Bosshardt, I had a 3:00 appt with Dr. Kunta for my results of my scans. Dr. Kunta advised that my scans were perfect, clean and clear and told me he would continue to treat me to keep the Cancer away. I got a name and number of a Dermatologist, Heather Brock, so I could have them check my skin so I can stay Cancer free.
1-19-10
40th Birthday ~ Hmm… I MADE IT!! Rob was sick the past two days or so, but made me a nice dinner here at home.
1-24-10
Now that I am Cancer free, I am going to need to stay on top of it by keeping up with my nutritional habits as well as my continued exercising. No going back to the ways of before. Something like this changes you and makes you realize what is really important in life and what you should do in order to stay here longer to see your nieces and nephews grow up and graduate and grow old with your brothers whom you would miss so very much. I always knew prior to this what things were important and not so much as well as worth fighting for, but Cancer puts it greater perspective and you literally find yourself not in the mood for any negativity from anyone.
So – – I wait for my hair to start growing back and sit for two (2) months while I await my appt on March 4th with Dr. Bosshardt to schedule my surgery for my implants. Thank goodness for insurance! If my insurance did not pay for reconstructive surgery, I would have never gotten it. I was lucky enough to have that choice. They do not mean that much to me nor would I miss them. Besides, Rob already said he did not marry me for my breasts or looks, but for my heart and what’s inside. So with that, I could not ask for anything more.
2-10
The weeks have passed with no new events until the first week here in February. My hair started to show some growth. Although, my eyebrows and eye lashes continue to fall out. Rob says that my new lashes and brows are pushing out the old ones. Hmm…, maybe so. I any case, just this past week, the week of the 15th, my expander on the left side has been causing me pain. It has somehow come to a point inside on the left side under or close to my arm and managed to make a bruise and pinch a nerve at the same time. The pain is sharp although not all the time. It is only once maybe twice a day with little jolts here and there throughout. Goodness, just when I think I can reach for that glass or wash my head in the shower the jolts or pain come.
*** On A Side Note**
Wigs, wigs and more wigs ~ Since I have no hair, I have been experimenting with wigs here and there. Nothing too extreme, yet. They seem to fit well and don’t look too bad. I’ve always had really curly hair and could not find a good curly wig, so I went for straight. I don’t wear them all the time. Most times I prefer a little bandanna. In the evenings, my head gets so cold that I have a little red and white stripped hat I wear to bed to keep my hear warm. Thank goodness for this.
2-23-10
I went to see Dr. Bosshardt today where he took some fluid out of my expanders thinking that might help, but it did not. I told him it would not matter because the expander came to a point inside and the size would not matter. Oh well. I only have to live with it until March 19, that is when my surgery is scheduled. Yeah!! I hope everything looks better than I expect and goes well.
Later this night, Rob & I were given an invite to go see the true story, movie, called “Letters to God”. It was a very good story about a little boy with brain cancer who writes letters to god and prays about many different things and people. It was filmed here in Clermont/Winter Garden. It was very sad, but a good story for all to learn from.
2-24 to 3-12
I seem to be feeling just fine other than the pain I keep having in my left expander. It has come to a point underneath my skin and is either pinching my skin or a nerve underneath. In any case, it is quite a jolt of pain when it happens and I never know when it will. I cannot wait for surgery.
3-13
A beautiful day for a Winter park 10k run. My first 10k, Yeah I finished in 1 hour and 28 minutes. Not so bad. Matt, Sandy and I walked/jogged it and had a good time. Rob’s knee was still hurting him from his 300 mile ride a few weeks back so he did not do it.
3-18
We found out today that my cousin, Bobby, has Colon Cancer. The family is not telling him *just yet as they need him to recover from his operation on his intestine/appendix he just had yesterday, March 17. I pray God gives him the strength and the immune system to fight this. He’s been through so much and is such a fighter. He is my light and my strength!!
THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART V
It’s funny how something like this reveals the people in your life (family and friends) who are really there for you and those who just can’t take you being ill and leave you. It’s heartbreaking, but eye-opening. Lord help me ~ I don’t get it…
Surgery was on October 2, 2009, it’s been 11 days of having these drains, pain pump and port in. The port I’ll have for a while, but the pump and drains come out soon. They are uncomfortable and trying to sleep with them, forget it. I cannot get comfortable sleeping so Rob will come and lay behind me so I can lean on him and then, finally then, I can rest and get some sleep. I relax, close my eyes and fall asleep with him behind me – holding me and holding me up in a comfortable position to sleep.
I CANNOT LOOK at myself YET or do I even want to. I cannot even bring myself to wash. I just
cannot do it. Rob hung a sheet up in the bathroom so that I would not have to look in the mirror and he also dries me off. I could not bring myself to do any of it. One, because I was still in pain and two, because I was just not ready. It’s one thing to see yourself in the mirror as whole person and another to see yourself in the mirror after a surgery with something missing.
10-13
I had an appointment with my reconstruction doctor, Dr. Bosshardt, for my first checkup after surgery. Dr. Bosshardt removed my bandages, my drains on both sides as well as my pain pump. I was wrapped so tightly that I thought it was supposed to be that way. I never questioned because you assume the hospital staff and OR staff know what they are doing. Dr. Bosshardt was
very upset that I was wrapped so tight by the OR staff. Dr. Bosshardt proceeded to remove my stitches, which I was unaware that he wanted to do that. I do believe it’s best sometimes that one does not know what a doctor is going to do so he can just do it. It saves the patient (me) from being anxious or having an anxiety attack of the thought of something getting ready to occur. (Thank goodness for the anxiety meds)
On a side note, Dr. Bosshardt of Tavares, FL is awesome! He is so nice and made me feel comfortable and like he really cared about me as a person and was there for me at all hours. Most times that is missing in doctors anymore.
STILL CANNOT LOOK YET!
10-16
Ah, my first session of chemotherapy at 10:00 a.m. I was so nervous because I did not know what
to expect. The port that was placed in just above what was my left breast and below my collar-bone. The port is very uncomfortable and feels like it touches the expander. The nurse, Billie, was very nice and attentive in making sure I was comfortable. She sprayed some numbing spray on the port area so that I would not feel the needle insertion. The numbing spray freezes up and makes the area very cold, I did not feel a thing. Before I knew it, she had entered the needle and the first drips of a combination of benadryl and anxiety medicine were already being started. After those two I began my TC meds or cocktails.
10-17 & 18
The weekend went just fine. I only had slight nausea, but other than that I felt fine.
STILL CANNOT LOOK YET or want to. I cannot even bring myself to wash. I just cannot do it.
10-19 to 22
I went in to the office of my Oncologist, Dr. Kunta, for my shot to boost my white blood cells with RN, Laura on the 19th. Oh goodness, that is when it hit me. I was nauseous all throughout the week
with stomach discomfort constantly. I was not really hungry or thirsty for anything, but I had to keep drinking especially water to keep myself hydrated. Thank goodness for Rob to keep up with me.
10-21
I thought I was feeling better and tried to go to work, but only made it three (3) hours. Rob came and got me and took me home to rest. I slept most of the afternoon. I was much better the following afternoon. Eric, Herb, Esq. and Lynn from my work are all so helpful and supportive. I can’t believe I lucked out and have individuals like this in my life. And, let’s not forget about Cindy, Kathy, Blair, and Dusty who have all been so supportive and always there for me. What great people I can call my friends. My Winter Garden crew!
I had my first appointment with Dr. Bosshardt for my first expansion which went well. I was nervous, but did not feel a thing. It was painless and Dr. Bosshardt and his nurse Lauren are great!!
FINALLY ~
I tried to wash myself and it went ok. I still have a hard time touching the areas and have a hard time trying to look into the mirror. I cannot put Palmers lotion on or Vitamin E oil on as needed because I am not strong enough mentally, so Rob does ALL of these things and MORE for me. With no complaints – only a smile and loving words.
10-22
I had a 9:00 a.m. therapy appointment with Kristi Secrest for my right side. I had met with her prior to surgery where she gave me some exercises to do afterward and that I had been doing all along. Those exercises were great and helped me stay ahead of the game as far as therapy. When I went in, she stated I looked great and that I did not need to come back in to see her, but just keep up on my exercises and call her if I need her. It was suggested that I come in to see her when I am ready to move my exercises to light weights so we can go through the safest way to work that in. Other than that, I can move forward, stay on top of my exercises and there is no reason why I cannot workout if I feel like it. Just take it easy.
THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART III ~
The following day on August 28 and at 9:15 a.m., Rob & I met with a man who would be a
part of our lives for quite some time, Dr. Gopal Kunta, an oncologist who had a great bedside
manner and is so very nice to talk to. He stated that since I was a triple negative he would be very
aggressive with my treatment in that he would suggest four cocktails. So, between this information
and the fact that he is sending me for four scans, a CT, PET, MUGA and Bone scan, I wanted a
second opinion. With that in mind, I set out for an appointment with MD Anderson Cancer
Center for the following week. After my appointment with a doctor there who stated that while
my case is aggressive, four cocktails do not prove scientifically and beyond a shadow of a doubt to
be any better than just three. With this information in hand, I decided to stay with Dr. Kunta and go with just the three cocktails and lose the last cocktail as it would be hard on my heart in years to come. If there was no research in place stating that four was any better than three and if it were not for the fact that the results were the same no matter which way you went, then by all means I am going to not put any undue medical issue on my heart than is already going to be there. My scans were all set with a CT scan and a PET scan scheduled for August 31st, a MUGA scan for September 4th, and a BONE scan for September 1st.
As Rob & I walked into the office building for my first round of scans to come in a long
line of scans I looked around and noticed that we were all there for the same reason, Cancer. The
wait was not long, but intense at the same time. A nurse came out and called my name and off I
went. We walked outside to a trailer like building as this was where they did their CT scans. This
was a trailer that could be moved from office to office in order to assist everyone in need. The
nurse and I took the little outside elevator up to the doorway and in I went. As I walked in I
noticed this big machine to the left where I would later lay down and be scanned, a computer table
directly in front of me for the nurse to monitor me and then to my right was a chair where I sat
down and she prepared a little cocktail for me to drink, which looked like and tasted like flat
Sprite, but of course it wasn’t. It was a medical drink, which lights up your insides so as to see
what’s going on in there. After the CT scan I was escorted back into the office building where I
would be getting a PET scan. I was then taken back to a room where, when I walked in I noticed
this bigger machine that I would later be scanned by and was given another cocktail that tasted like
a smoothie, a coconut drink. But of course this too was a medical drink wherein it highlighted your
inner being so as to see it more clearly. All in all the scans were not so bad. The drinks you have
to take to do a CT scan and a PET scan were as well as could be expected. I suppose they could have been worse. With all of that said and done, my results came back clean. It did not look as though the cancer had spread anywhere else.
On August 31st Rob & I met with Dr. Graham, a radiologist who we eventually would not
need, but did not know that at the time. I was nervous, a bit scared and still waiting to wake up from this because I just felt fine. But I would never tell anyone else that. I just prayed a lot and put it all – in God’s hands. My meeting with Dr. Graham, the radiologist was a good one. He is a very nice man who as well liked the way Dr. Boardman and Dr. Kunta were being so aggressive with this as this is a very aggressive type of cancer and a triple negative. We spoke for a while and when Rob and I left, we both felt good about the doctors who were handling our case. Before we walked out the door, however, Dr. Graham gave me a notebook that I had been looking at in his office, the
LIVESTRONG notebook. A big binder with tons of helpful information for Cancer patients,
resources, a place for all of your receipts, your records that you will be getting and inspirational
stories. A GREAT notebook indeed for all to have.
THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF CANCER ~ PART II ~
After I talked to Rob I then proceeded to Eric’s office where I sat down in one of the
chairs in front of his desk and just looked at him. He looked at me and asked me what was wrong
and I then proceeded to tell him about my call just now from Dr. Boardman. Eric is a cancer
survivor as well, a melanoma cancer survivor so he understood exactly what I was feeling and
going through. He went on to say that I will beat this without hesitation. I remember him saying
that the treatment today is not like what they had 20 years ago and he knew I would be ok. I
remember him saying this, but at the same time I was still in shock. He is a great friend and boss.
Later that evening and after Rob and I had discussed this in length, I decided it was time
to tell my family. I remember that I waited until I had my shower and was cleaned up, grabbed my
cell phone as I knew this was going to be a long night and proceeded to call each member of my
family – starting with my mom, my dad, my brother Randy and then my brother Jay. I remember
telling Randy that I wanted to be the one to tell my nieces in person and I would do so soon. I could not be the one to tell my nephews in person like I wanted to because they lived in Connecticut at the time. The calls were trying at first, but through each one I was very optimistic and had my faith that everything would be alright and advised my family of this each time I talked to them. That following weekend I went over to Randy’s across town where I pulled the girls aside by myself to have a talk. The girls and I always talk like this about many things so this was not going to be any different, just about a different topic. I love those girls like they were my own, so to see their eyes and feel their heart when I told them was heart wrenching, but I was very positive about it and told them that it would all be ok. I just knew it would be. I reminded them that our family were fighters and that is exactly what I intend to do.
On a warm sunny day in August, Rob & I went to the office of Dr. Boardman to discuss his findings. As we were waiting in the waiting room, I could see these books around a table on Breast Cancer and thinking to myself “really, am I really going to have to be picking up one of those books to see where my life is about to be headed?” When just at that moment we were called back to meet with Dr. Boardman. As we went into one of the examination rooms, Rob sat in the corner with a note pad and pen and I sat up on the table. He was going to be the one to take notes, ask questions and remember what the doctor said because I knew I was not going to be in any shape to remember exactly what he was saying. When Dr. Boardman came into the room and we began discussing my having Invasive Ductal Carcinoma “Cancer” and it is triple negative, I could not help but start crying and thinking “is this real?” as well as “is this really happening to me?” I felt just fine. I did not feel sick – I felt normal, healthy. I never once said “why me” just “is this real”. Dr. Boardman continued to give me my options and as I listened intensely at the words that were coming out of his mouth, my first thought was take them both, take them both because I do not want them. I advised Dr. Boardman that I wanted a Double Mastectomy and that was that. I only wanted to go through this one time. My reasons have specifically been that I only wanted to go through this pain one time and one time only, I did not need breasts (they only get in the way anyway) and if I had Cancer in one breast whose to say I won’t get it in the other down the road. The sooner the better I say. By the end of our appointment Dr. Boardman had scheduled my surgery for October 2nd at 1:30 and recommended an Oncologist that he thought we should meet right away and whom he thought would fight this cancer as aggressively as he was and that was going to be the only way to fight this, aggressively.
To Be Continued…
Always with Light, Love, Strength, Enlightenment and Guidance!
As I Began to Love Myself – Self Love Poem by Charlie Chaplin
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time
was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this
person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens
at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in
my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for
my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew
me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude
a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since
I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry
about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING
is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my
mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this
connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing
new worlds are born.Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!
Charlie Chaplin
I understand sometimes we do not remember our dreams, but know that we slept pretty soundly. Just know this,
© Kathy J Parenteau
Are there angels here beside us as we journey life’s winding road,
Sent from heaven here to guide us along future paths unknown?
I saw an angel in my dream with an
iridescent smile,
raven hair, delicate wings and a
warm angelic style.
She bore a sweet resemblance to
someone I used to know,
but the era had lapsed, long since passed, for the winds of time do blow.
She told me of a heavenly land, a
paradise she claimed,
that awaits the souls of everyone who
worships God’s name.
She showed me living waters baring
life of endless flow,
unconditional love for our master above
a place where streets are paved in gold.
And when my dream came to an end she
kissed me tenderly,
whispered we’ll soon meet again when
God feels it’s meant to be.
In the morning I awakened to the
dawning of the day,
with my spirit a glow for I’d been
kissed by a rose,
in this dream I’ll cherish till my
dying day.
Yes angels walk beside us however
unbelievable it seems,
sent from heaven here to guide us
even in our dreams.
Always with Light, Love, Strength, Enlightenment, Guidance and OUR Warrior Within! Have a great Monday my Angels and may your day be light and heavenly. Cheers!
There comes a time when you wake up and realize that the people or person(s) around you are more negative than you would like and are simply draining you of all of you energy. It is a hard process at times to let them go and move on, but for your own sake and sanity, you have to step up to the plate and just do it. This has to stop and this will give you the encouragement and strength…
FREE YOUR MIND ~ FREE YOUR SOUL
Card Meaning: Ask Archangel Michael to clear any old attachments to fear that stem form past relationships, freeing you from destructive patterns.
You drew this card because negativity connected to a past relationship is interfering with the situation you’ve inquired about. Fortunately, this toxic energy can be easily vanquished with the help of Archangel Michael, a powerful angel who will release you from the effects of fear.
Anytime you or your partner experience fear within your relationship, a cord (similar to a leash made out of hollow tubing) is attached to both of you. You may have cords (most people do) connecting you to your parents (living or deceased), siblings, lovers, those whom you’ve helped, such as students or clients, and anyone with whom you’ve shared a significant relationship. Cords are nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. They just need to be cut, as they can drain your energy and be the culprit behind physical pain.
Action Steps:
Think of a question or situation that you would like help with. Then say aloud or silently:
“Archangel Michael, I call upon you now. Please cut the cords of fear that have been blocking or draining me in the past. I am now willing to trade all pain for peace.”
If you think of a specific person during this process, ask Michael to help you release the fear from that relationship. You’ll feel your body shudder as cords are cut one by one. Don’t worry; you can’t sever cords of love. Repeat this process anytime you feel drained or blocked, as cords can grow back if fear returns to the relationship.
This card was drawn from the Angel Therapy Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue.
Here is my Wish List for all of my dear Angels out there who make my blogging experience something to look forward to and so much fun in which to keep in touch with you all…
Always know that you have a friend who is there and will listen. And when in doubt, sit in peace, sit in nature, listen to the surrounding chirps and noises in nature, listen with your heart and you will know that there is Love and Light in peace. Your Angels are always near.
Always with Light, Love, Guidance and Strength!
When you need a little love, a little sign, or just a ray of hope, look up… You never know what you’ll see, what you’ll find, or what you’ll hear from within.
Always with Peace, Love, Light, and Strength my dear Angels.
Tell me what you see! I see Archangel Michael and his Sword, the Sword of Strength ~ There is something about a sword and this sword in particular that gives one inner strength to face the world and your inner self for positivity (should you need to) in order to ward off any and all offenders whether physically or mentally. Should you need a little help or encouragement, this should do it. Take a look and tell me what feelings you get from it:
Archangel Michael – No matter the situation, no matter the challenge, Michael stands ready with his sword and host of Angels to protect and serve all who call upon him for assistance. He clears the path of obstacles, he gives us strength and courage to carry on during the dark times in our lives. He fills us with hope, inspiration, and faith that the Universe is always on our side. Michael protects against negative or psychic attack and astral debris that can cling to our energy fields.
Don’t you just love this and the positivity and strength it provides!
Always with Light, Love, Strength and “your” Warrior Within!
Don’t you just love the knowing that your Angels are always with you. Just look up, call for them, ask them to guide you, show you, and be with you. I always do because I just know – I know they are there, with me – all the time. They give me strength, courage and comfort. I have Faith, I Believe and I Love them for being there. They are my rock!
As Always ~ With Light, Love, Guidance, Strength, and Positivity my dear Angels.
There is comfort in knowing and believing that your Angels and Guides are with you. There is comfort in knowing that I do have the strength to fight anything that comes my way ~ I just have to believe and have Faith. There is comfort in knowing that when I leave my baby “Caesar” at the vet that he is well taken care of – even though he will be upset with me when I pick him back up. There is comfort in knowing that though it aches to be so far away from family, that they are all well, happy and well taken care of. There is comfort in knowing that today is Friday, it’s a beautiful day and it is going to be an even better weekend.
Thank you for spending a little time with me today and reading my post. May you enjoy a great weekend with your loved ones on these beautiful days ahead. Always with Light and Love my dears! Cheers!
Yes, Cancer sucks, but at least we have great individuals out there either working in the medical field helping others in some way or those on the back end of the medical field (behind the scenes so to speak) trying to and sometimes finding cures for such diseases. Like these two gentlemen I have the honor and privilege to call my Angel friends: Elliot Kahen, who is a Molecular Biologist who helps to cure Cancer in children; and his father, Howard Kahen, who is Shadowmaster at Pasco-Hernando State College, President at Reflections Medical Aesthetics and Diagnostic Radiologist at Radiology Associates West Pasco.
Once you have Cancer, it is always, in some way shape or form a part of your life. It will be there forever, there is no forgetting about it. It never goes away, mentally anyway. They don’t tell you about that part of it when you are diagnosed or going thru the procedures. Or after for that matter. For me, getting the treatments and the surgeries were hard, draining, cold, exhausting (both mentally and physically), but the hardest was after. The constant reminders of Cancer everywhere you look, the constant reminder when looking at yourself in the mirror every day, the remembrance of when you couldn’t look at yourself in the mirror because of the surgeries, the scars, the mental images of those times that never truly go away, the images of the loved ones worrying about you, the image of your spouse or caretaker taking care of you on a constant basis, the loved ones lost to such a disease, and then you remember and have the knowledge that you are in fact, still here to celebrate your life. You stop, you smile at yourself in the mirror, you acknowledge that time and then you move on.
Move on – that’s right – I said it. Move on. You give yourself a little time to think and ponder and then move on. Remind yourself that you fought Cancer and won. You move on because you fought it like a champ and won! You are a Warrior, a Fighter, a Survivor! You are here to Live Life to the fullest and by God you are going to do it!
You also remind yourself that you are always, in a way, still fighting Cancer in everything you do and everything you eat. Your top priority is yourself! Exercising for a healthier you and eating the proper foods for a healthier and better you. Your life is precious and your body is a precious vessel that should be treated as such because you only have one life and one body to live in. So, why feed it junk food, why not exercise to take care of it, why do you even have to ask? It’s simple, I workout and give 110% because it makes me a better person, it makes me feel better about my self and I know my health is better because of it. It’s that simple. For me anyway.
I will say this, that maybe some don’t… Cancer was a gift! Yes, a gift. It wakes you up from your foggy existence here in life and makes you see things that you didn’t either see before or appreciate before. Most don’t or didn’t see it until something like this comes up and smacks you in the face and says “Stop and Look Around, Life is Too Short to Keep on Like This! What are you doing that you think this is important in life?” It makes you rethink everything you ever knew or thought you knew.
There is no doubt in my mind that there are Angels around us, looking over us, keeping us close. There is no doubt in my mind that my Lord and Savior are always there and have always been there for me. Even when I thought I was alone. I have no doubts!
So, my Angels, my message is this… love yourself for exactly who you are, for exactly your shape and size, for exactly your hair color, love yourself and others because at the end of the day, none of that stuff matters. Take care of yourself and your body because it’s the only self and body you have. I’m not going to love someone for their hair color, for their shape and size, or whatever else. I’m going to love them for what’s inside, the way they take care of themselves, the way they treat me, the way they treat others and my family. That’s it.
Now, go and remember to look up and smile because you are loved and cherished more than you realize.
CHEERS MY ANGELS ~ WITH LIFE, LIGHT, POSITIVITY, STRENGTH, BEING THE WARRIOR WITHIN, GUIDANCE, and LOVE!
Change comes in all forms and at any given time whether you are ready for it or not. Whether it is a passing of a loved one, a Change in residence, a Change in ones health, or just a Change of heart. Change is all around us. I know Change can be difficult, but in the end, Change must occur in all living things in order for us all to grow. Most times it does not make sense, the Change(s) we endure, but in order for you yourself to grow as an individual we must find a way to accept our Change(s) and overcome. Change can and will, if you let it, make you stronger. Sometimes Change can open ones eyes to new experiences, Change lets you see life through a new set of eyes due to a diagnosis, and most times Change lets one be that positive light to shine for others to see and possibly, just possibly, your Change will help someone else in need accept his or her Change and help hm or her to be stronger because of it.
I myself have had my fair share of Change(s) over the years. And many were not pleasant. But, though they were, at times, tough to go through, I held onto my faith and the knowledge the this too shall pass. Change had to occur in order to get me to the place I am now. A place of strength, a place of positivity, a place of enlightenment, and a place of mindfulness. Through these Changes I became more aware of the things I would and would not accept out of individuals, how they treated others and how they treated every other living thing around us. Life is too short!
Yes, I could have taken the negative roads, the roads that lead down a harder path when these Change(s) occurred. But I made a choice that I would not give into that path because that path was not an option and had no light at the end of the tunnel. Strength, Life, Light and Love were and are the only path for me and I try to share that with my family and friends when they ask or might need a little inspiration.
With that, I attach the below poem I found that can give us all the strength and light we need when it comes to any type of Change in life.
Thank you for taking time out of your day to read a little about Change = Strength. Cheers!